GOD, I trust you so much I have many days and moments when I am just in a trance. I walk moment by moment. Sometimes I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing! Today is Saturday and sometimes Saturdays can be melancholy because my husband passed away on a Saturday. What am I feeling? I am going to allow myself to continue to be where I am, to feel whatever I need to feel.

Time has fallen back which means I woke up even earlier than usual my body is used to waking up early. I don’t think I have had a consecutive week of sound sleep since My Devan has been gone. I often wonder if I will forever be unable to sleep soundly again.

Devan knew I hated sleeping without him, he knew that unless he was out of town I couldn’t get to sleep until I knew he was home. And when he traveled he always let me know when he was safe and sound. These are the things no one can tell you nor prepare you for when you lose your soulmate.

I have spent 407 days in this world without My Devan. The man I thought I was going to grow really old with, the man I was suppose to renew my vows with after 30 years of marriage. Devan and I truly lived out each and every word of our vows to the end.
I still sit in shock at times of it all. I’ve heard “it will get better” well, it hasn’t gotten better. I can honestly say that because my faith is so strong I ache yet I trust GOD and his perfect plan.

My husband passed on September 24, 2016 so I realized that on September 23, 2017, and every month prior to that day I could reflect on the prior year 2016 I had memories of my husband still in the world with me, however; now a year later my memories of last year at this time are memories without him in the world with me, with us.

Yes, I have tons of memories, pictures, videos and so much more which will never die which I am so grateful to have but it doesn’t replace him.

I understand fully and completely that this is going to be a long process and as the days turn into weeks, months and years. I will learn to cope so that I can continue to live out loud like my husband expects me to do.

 

About 

Who is Kimberly Nicole Johnson a GOD fearing Author, Woman, Widow, Wife Mom, Nana, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Entrepreneur, Breast Cancer Survivor,

Kimberly helped build their business/brand side by side with her husband they were the 1st Black owned /operated husband & wife team with a business in Cincinnati, Ohio OTR(Over The Rhine) Incredible Creations Beauty & Barber Salon their Brand is very well known to the masses. Kimberly & Devan were more than regular salon owners she is a Platform artist, educator, and a mentor they worked each day together as one most of all they were best friends. They had no idea what they were about to face…….

Kim fought and WON the fight over Breast Cancer in 2014 with her husband Devan Johnson the Love of her Life by her side every step of the way never leaving her to do it alone to then turn around and lose him suddenly & unexpectedly in 2016. She thought her hardest battle was in 2014 but when she lost her husband she realized that NOW was a crossroad for her. So she has decided to rise from the storm and walk authentically & truthfully in her purpose! GOD showed her how to “Unleash the Power of Greatness’ within.

Kim has been thrust into her purpose of being an Author, releasing her first book "WALKING WITHOUT MY CANE" as a motivational speaker she is going to share, motivate & inspire others that a happy, fulfilling life is possible after facing such heartaches. Life can and will go on and it will be amazing despite what the past looks like. She will show others that your past doesn’t have to dictate how your future looks. She will show others how to be authentic, walk in their truth, live in the moment & Just Be.