Selling My Husband’s Truck

By Lisa Dempsey Bargewell

Well, I did it! It only took me three and half years to conjure up the strength and willpower to sell my deceased husband’s truck; but, I finally did. This might seem silly and insignificant to some; however for me, this was a huge step. The crazy thing is I only drove it once in nine years. It wasn’t my vehicle. Nevertheless, it was a predominant factor in our married and family life. It encompassed a multitude of treasured memories and cherished moments.

The first harrowing year after my husband’s death, when I was thrown into the dark abyss, I used to just sit in my husband’s truck. My hands glided over the steering wheel in attempts to capture the essence of where his steadfast, champion hands used to be. His aroma still lingered as I would listen to his favorite songs, and recollect all the adventures that transpired from within the truck walls.

The last time I sat in his truck, I noticed down by the corner of the passenger seat a fortune cookie message. My heart skipped a beat, as no one had driven the truck and I had never laid eyes on it before. I unraveled it. The words of faux wisdom profoundly spoke to me, “…it is time to move forward.” I felt David’s presence reassuring me to forge ahead.

Practical reality sunk in. I was paying a lot for insurance. I needed to sell it. On the other hand, emotionally, the thought of selling it paralyzed me in utter anguish. I had to tap into my faith, my key to sanity. I had to recognize my resistance and make a definitive goal. This quote echoed in my mind: “If you can’t go in leaps and bounds, then go in baby steps and nudges, but keep moving forward!” -Doe Zantamata.

Unfortunately, my stress level continued to rise as I worried about losing another part of my husband. Grief for me has been such a turbulent crossroad of absorption, adjustment, remembering, honoring, letting go, letting it be, and attempting to navigate and re-build a new life. I had to reframe this event to see the growth. I had to realize that I was not closing the book, just turning the page. That what my soul has once known, I will never forget. That love lives on forever.

As the selling day unfolded, I was a mess. My husband and I had made all of our decisions in unison. I was literally shaking as my orderly world of predictability, structure, and comfort has been altered. Could I do this?

As I was at the bank making the sale, terror set in. All the horrifying feelings of releasing my husband’s cold and limp hands ran rampant in my mind. It felt as if I was losing him all over again. At the same time, I had a flashback of my husband and I teaching our oldest daughter, when she was three, to cross the monkey bars. She was so afraid, shaking her adorable head, and telling us, “No, I can’t do this, I can’t let go!” My husband was so calm and encouraging to her. Finally, she did it! She beamed and hugged us as she got down and exclaimed, “That was easy!”

As grief is not a task to finish, each day, I am learning to welcome life’s lessons as I reiterate to myself, “Just breathe in and breathe out, repeat, and remember that moving forward means taking one step at a time.”

Have you experienced a similar grief transition? How did you handle it? As always, I am thankful that you took the time to read my blog. Time after time, I am humbled with gratitude by your comments and wisdom. Please feel free to comment and/or share.

Dear Heavenly Father, Please help me to come to the realization that I don’t have to have everything all figured out to move forward. That I can continue to look back and thank you and look forward and trust you. –Amen

With Blessings and Grace to You,
Lisa Dempsey Bargewell
My next blog will be on August 19th.

10 Comments on Selling My Husband’s Truck

  1. Cheryl Tatlow
    January 17, 2017 at 5:54 pm (4 months ago)

    My husband passed 10 weeks ago…. I need to sell his beautiful truck that he worked so hard for to pay financial debts. Have decided that my daughter and her husband, who have been my complete support through all this would be the best ones to buy it. He is a mechanic, so will take care of it, he also had a lot of respect for my husband. In doing this I will shortfall myself a few thousand dollars, I know God will help me through these trials. And I will still get to see the truck and witness their enjoyment in the years to come.

    Reply
  2. Paula Raya
    November 20, 2016 at 7:56 pm (6 months ago)

    My husband and I had our Jeep as our hobby and we also renewed our 25th anniversary vows in it as he was not able to do much more. We renewed our vows on his 57th bday April 29th of this year knowing he wasnt going to make it to Feb.14th 2017(our 25th) yes Valentines day and he went home on May 12th 2016 now I have to give the Jeep back to credit union due to funds its just killing me inside it was also our Anniversary gift 3 yrs ago. Its like losing him again and the last of all our fun memories. I am so sad.

    Reply
  3. Jackie Insley
    March 21, 2016 at 6:21 am (1 year ago)

    Thank you gor your story about selling your husbands truck. I too know on day I will find the strength to do that but for now its only been alittle over a month. I also have his company truck here for comfort for now. After reading the replies and your blog I know one day I also can find the strength to do what I need to. Thank you & bless you

    Reply
    • Lisa Dempsey Bargewell
      November 18, 2016 at 5:51 pm (6 months ago)

      Dear Jackie, I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. When the time is right you will know what to do. Thank you for reading my blog. Blessings and Hugs to You, Lisa Dempsey Bargewell

      Reply
  4. Jacqueline
    November 19, 2015 at 5:46 pm (2 years ago)

    Wow!
    Just today, I agreed on a sale of my late husband’s truck. It hurt sooo much, like being punched in the gut, a feeling all too familiar sice becomming a widow.
    I googled, hurting from selling my husband’s truck…and found your blog…
    I too, took 3 years 7 months and1 day.
    God gave me much grace, and I praise Him for this gift given me, to endure through this trial…
    I drove the truck, and loved it!
    But God has been leading me, I need to let go. I have another vehicle, which was mine, and the truck, well, it was my husband’s primary vehicle.
    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I just found this site, I hope to connect with other widows, to encourage and receive from.
    God bless you all much in Jesus!

    Reply
    • Lisa Dempsey Bargewell
      November 18, 2016 at 5:54 pm (6 months ago)

      Hi Jacqueline, You continue to be in my prayers. Thank you for reading my blog. I am so pleased to hear that our Heavenly Father gave you the grace to forge ahead. Blessings and Hugs to You, Lisa Dempsey Bargewell

      Reply
  5. JenM
    October 20, 2015 at 3:00 pm (2 years ago)

    My husband’s truck. I never drove it because I’m not comfortable driving larger vehicles. Our son will be driving age soon and we are saving it for him.

    Last week I had to run a quick errand and I decided to drive the truck because people tell me I need to every so often. Sure enough after 3 months it was a bit sluggish getting started but it was good to go.

    But the comments! “You can’t drive dad’s truck! You’re not allowed! Dad says you can’t!” And on and on it went. From all 3 of our kids. Finally I had to say, “I’m driving the truck. I own it. My name is on the title. Dad is not here to stop me.”

    I didn’t even want to drive the truck. 🙁

    Reply
  6. Janet Hansen
    September 6, 2015 at 7:02 pm (2 years ago)

    Thanks for telling about selling your husband’s truck. I sold my husband’s van about a year after he passed away. It was really hard. The guy who bought it lived just around the corner from me, so I saw the van later. It is a tough letting go. I’m still trying to get rid of my husband’s clothes. Just after he passed away I saw his old shoes and realized he would never wear them again. My son asked what I was going to do with them. I jokingly said we could bronze them. We both laughed. If you don’t laugh sometimes, you go nuts. Thanks for sharing your struggles. It helps me.

    Reply
    • Lisa Dempsey Bargewell
      September 16, 2015 at 9:36 pm (2 years ago)

      Thank you, Janet Hansen, for your comment and for sharing about your struggles. I am holding you in my heart and prayers. Blessings to you.

      Reply
      • Janet Hansen
        September 18, 2015 at 7:41 pm (2 years ago)

        Thanks Lisa for your kind words and for your thoughts and prayers. I think that only other widows can really understand what I am going through. I will remember you in my thoughts and prayers. Just keep swimming.

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