I never realized that my brother-in-law – H, scrunches up his nose when he gets laughing. David used to do the same thing and it was the moment I realized they did look like brothers. We often teased H about ...
Survival Mode. That horrible period in the first year that no one talks about. Where every thought in my pretty brunette head was overwhelming. I don't mean normal stressful decisions being overwhelming, I mean the idea of 'do I want ...
When David died, I never knew how to answer "how are you doing?" Sometimes they would respond to their own question with "day by day, I guess, eh? Yup just day by day," why were people asking rhetorical questions? What ...
“Hello darkness, my old friend…” are the haunting lyrics of the beginning of the Simon and Garfunkel song, “The Sounds of Silence,” that have ebbed and flowed their way through the American musical fabric over the years. I know I ...
"No man (or woman) steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and (s)he's not the same (wo)man."--Heraclitus I live near the Green River, drive across it a few times a day, walk next to it ...
Watching TV can be a minefield for widows. I noticed this soon after I lost my husband; we were in the last season of The Sopranos. I could never make myself finish it after his death. But, I kept thinking ...
Remembering the first year after Todd died revives all of its raw, nearly physical pain. That year was a waking nightmare. Sometimes, another widow’s post or comment reminds me of the early weeks and months, and I hurt for her ...
I’m not sure if every widow does this, but I tend to gravitate towards watching any TV show or movie where the main character is a widow. It’s always interesting to me to see how the plot treats widowhood. Is ...
I don’t remember October. I think I wished it away because it is the month in which my love died and because it felt like the unofficial start of the holiday season, which I had been dreading. I didn’t even ...
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Philippians 4:8 Sometimes it would be really easy to ...