The In-Between

 

The machines kept you

in the in-between.

 

You weren’t really alive,

but you weren’t officially dead.

 

I remained in that wild space

for as long as I possibly could.

 

I lived in that holy, holy break in time

pretending it would not happen

 

Until Underwood and the other Doctors

came in and shook their heads no.

 

I was pushed out into silence.

Cold and unforgiving, atheistic.

 

I was in outer space

with a crack in my helmet

 

The oxygen was getting sucked out,

and I was going to die too.

 

And if there was a door to walk through

to get to you,

 

I may have taken it.

I may have opened it and walked the fuck in.

 

But every time I touched the knob

it slammed shut, and shut, and shut again.

 

And then, there were no more doors.

 

 

 

Mark your calendars! Hope For Widows Foundation’s annual virtual Widows of Hope 5K event has returned on Friday, May 12 through Sunday, May 14, 2023. Anyone can join! Whether you are a widow, widower, or a friend/family member showing support or walking in the loss of another family member, everyone is welcome to participate. The proceeds will directly support widows through the annual financial Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program. Do you have or know a business that would like to sponsor? That’s an option too! To register and frequently asked questions- please go here: http://getmeregistered.com/WidowsofHope5K Also, mark your calendars, on National Widows Day, May 3, 2023, the Restoring Hope and Peace Grant application process will open up. Please go here for criteria and details: https://hopeforwidows.org/grant/

 

About 

Amanda thought March 4th, 2020, would be just another normal morning until her husband, Ed, went into cardiac arrest due to his heart condition, HCM, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. There was a 1% chance of sudden death, but he passed that day. He was 40 years young, and they had been married for 14 years. One week later the world went into lockdown due to Covid, and Amanda and her two small sons, who were 9 and 11, would be left grieving during the strangest of times.

During this time, writing was the only way Amanda could cope. She wrote the manuscript The Queen of Joyful Things, which are poems about losing her husband. She is happy to be a part of the Hope for Widows community and hopes her story will help other young widows. You can visit her at: https://amcrane76.wixsite.com/www-amanda-crane-wix

Amanda Crane

Amanda thought March 4th, 2020, would be just another normal morning until her husband, Ed, went into cardiac arrest due to his heart condition, HCM, hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. There was a 1% chance of sudden death, but he passed that day. He was 40 years young, and they had been married for 14 years. One week later the world went into lockdown due to Covid, and Amanda and her two small sons, who were 9 and 11, would be left grieving during the strangest of times. During this time, writing was the only way Amanda could cope. She wrote the manuscript The Queen of Joyful Things, which are poems about losing her husband. She is happy to be a part of the Hope for Widows community and hopes her story will help other young widows. You can visit her at: https://amcrane76.wixsite.com/www-amanda-crane-wix

All Posts by Amanda Crane