My husband died 14 years ago, and I still refer to myself as a widow.
To be honest, I had never thought much of it. I AM a widow. Yet when one of my online tutoring students asked, “Well, it has been so long. Should you still be saying you’re a widow? Aren’t you just single now?” It took me off guard. Has it been too long to still call myself a widow?
I felt angry at first, like my identity had been threatened. Then I felt curious – when does it stop being socially acceptable to call yourself a widow?
I told my student I would call myself a widow until I was lucky enough to find love again, but for me, that fell short as well. If one day I am fortunate enough to remarry it does not erase the loss of my dear husband of 16 years. It doesn’t erase the life we made together on a little cul-de-sac in Florida with our three beautiful girls. It doesn’t erase the late-night talks and the fights. It doesn’t erase the family game nights and daddy-daughter dances. It doesn’t erase the two-year battle to save his life and how hard he fought to stay with us.
Throughout my widowhood journey, I have learned that some people’s words hurt, even with good intentions.
If I remarry one day, it will be a new chapter in my story, not a whole new book.
Mark your calendars! The Hope For Widows Foundation’s annual Widows of Hope 5K is back! Join us virtually from Friday, May 9th to Sunday, May 11th, 2025. This event is open to all widows, friends, or family members who show their support, or participate in honor of a loved one or cause. Your participation makes a huge difference, as all proceeds directly benefit widows through our Restoring Hope and Peace Scholarships, Sunshine Boxes program, and Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program. Register and check out the FAQ here: http://getmeregistered.com/WidowsofHope5K Looking for more ways to get involved? Sponsorship opportunities are available! If you or a business you know would like to support the foundation, we would love to connect with you. Visit: https://hopeforwidows.org/5k-sponsorship/
About Cindy Schriver
In 2011, Cindy lost her husband of 16 years to a rare form of cancer after a
long and hard-fought battle. Left behind in the whirlwind of grief with three
adolescent children, Cindy had to learn to find herself again and how to
help herself and her children through the journey of grief. Knowing she had
to become the sole provider for her family, Cindy returned to college at 38,
earning a bachelor’s degree in Communications and a master’s degree in
Adult Education. Cindy is currently pursuing her Doctorate and is constantly
looking for new experiences.