“Let me not die while I am still alive.”

Sheryl Sandburg quotes this short prayer in a powerful post she wrote on Facebook June 3rd. The Facebook Chief Executive Officer and well-known author was suddenly widowed earlier this year. Her entire essay resonates with me, from this prayer at the beginning to the appearance of “Option B” at the end.

“Let me not die while I am still alive.”

Part of me died when Don died. One of my snuggy, safe, beloved little rooms in my heart was demolished and gutted. I have slowly remodeled it, always keeping my love for Don in it, but now there are different walls and furnishings. I am also constructing a new room in my heart for a grandchild. I am not sure how to decorate it, though.

“Let me not die while I am still alive.”

I live. I am tackling, embracing, jumping, slogging through, and loving my life. I have worked hard to be alive because this widow business is really hard work. As part of living, today I embark on a great adventure, something way out of my comfort zone. I am excited, nervous, curious, and mostly fearless.

I am very alive.