I believe in Hope. I believe the only antidote for heartbreaking pain is Hope. For me, hope and moving forward are one and the same. My late husband, Ray, and I lived in a small Northern California town, and we loved our little town. We owned our own business and raised our 4 children in “our” town. When Ray was diagnosed for the 2nd time with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, it became clear he would need a stem cell transplant. Ray was referred to Stanford University Hospital Medical Center in Palo Alto, California  for this procedure.
The San Francisco Bay Area is a 3 to 4 hour drive from my small town, and that’s on a good traffic day. Since Ray’s medical condition would require months of treatment, we decided to rent a condo close to the Hospital. This would enable me to continue working via computer, and care for him.
Once a week, while Ray was in the Hospital, I would leave at 4:00am, to avoid Bay Area traffic, and drive to my town to pick up my work. The next morning, I would leave again, at 4:00am, to drive back to the Bay Area. It would be dark and still as I drove through the farm fields, sometimes I would only see one or two other cars. I was all alone, and yet, I never felt afraid, I felt my God close to me and my Angels surrounding me. I felt safe! I believe this experience, so profound, is what has given me the courage to move forward, living my own life. Ray and I learned so much during his illness. Looking back,  I would not trade the lessons Rays illness  taught me for anything!  We may not always get to choose how life’s lessons come, yet, we always have a choice to receive and learn from the lesson.  Watching the sun come up as I drove through the beautiful farm lands gave me hope in a new day.