I am sorry I did not post last week. Despite flu shots, the flu paid our family a visit. I do not know what I would have typed in my drugged state, but I am guessing it would have probably been rather entertaining. We are doing great now!
In the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to visit with a people who have recently lost their spouses. Some joined our group a matter of days ago, others a few months ago. While each spouse’s death was different, the widowed all had the same look in their eyes when I spoke with them.
I told them while this experience is really, really hard, they were going to be okay. The look each gave me was identical to the one I gave my widowed friends who told me the same thing when Don died. It was a look of indescribable grief mixed with disbelief and the hope that what I was saying was really true. One said, “Really? Do you mean that?” It isn’t easy, but it is oh, so true. I wanted to tell them so much more about this new journey, but I didn’t want to overwhelm them. I just wanted them to know they will be okay.
Each one I spoke with is at a point where “okay” is so foreign. What does “okay” mean now? When will it happen? Is it a single event or a process? Do I announce, “Ta Da! I am okay now!” What does it look like? What else is going to happen to me before I feel “okay”? Will those around me be okay?
Being widowed, each of us is in a unique position to be learning or have learned the answers to these questions. I encourage you, when you are comfortable, to reassure others on this journey they will be okay.