My fingers hurt tonight and there is grease under my nails. BUT, I replaced a headlight on Wanda the Honda today! I have done it twice before, but today, I just couldn’t get the retaining clip to secure where it needed to be. The headlight’s design required I do it all by feel. It took a lot longer, but I am proud I did it myself.
My husband was very handy and could fix anything and I am not just saying that. He really could. The traits of resourcefulness, knowledge, brains, and problem solving were some of the things that attracted me to him all those years ago. I knew I would always be okay if he were around. I would always have food, shelter, awesome companionship and would get to laugh every day. Who knew I would be left without him so soon?
Replacing Wanda’s headlight caused me to think about all the different things I have learned to do since my husband died. I am not afraid to do things I am physically capable of doing. I can replace dishwasher guts, funky lights, diagnose and fix car battery problems, among other things. I also have developed the skill to pay people to do some of the things my husband used to do. I have also learned to be humble enough to ask others for help. That’s how it is being a widow.
One of the most useful repair tools I have found is prayer (and YouTube). As I was fumbling around with that stupid retaining clip, I asked the Lord for help. I explained how I didn’t want my husband to die and that I have to do things he used to do and I could use some help. The prayer tool has never failed.
Because I am a good finder of tools but a bad replacer of them, my husband’s toolbox was never as organized as he would have liked. There are times I catch myself thinking how I need to put a tool back in the right spot so he can find it later, then I remember he doesn’t use the tools anymore. Sometimes, I tear up. But most of the time, I bet he is up there shaking his head as he looks at my new “tool organization” system.