I read somewhere that tears are a gift from God because they cleanse the soul. In the early days of my mourning, I remember crying so often and hard that, at times, I could hardly breathe. I even had grief induced migraine headaches. I never knew what would trigger my tears, and it felt as if I had no control over my emotions.
As I look back, I’m grateful I didn’t avoid or resist my tears because I know that sidestepping your pain only postpones it.
I found grief to be like the waves of the ocean – sometimes calm with predictable waves and at other times a raging all out storm with absolutely no predictability whatsoever. All I could do was ride the wave and feel my emotions. And yes, after a while, I came to realize that the tears would bring me relief. In fact, after the grief wave hit the shore and started its retreat, I would feel intense relief from my emotional pain.
For those of you who are new to this widow journey, please know that we, your widow sisters, have felt the overwhelming emotions of early grief. We have shed a million tears, and we still shed tears of sorrow. For many of us who are further along on this journey, we also shed tears of joy as we feel the intense gratitude of being able to go forward living a life that honors the life of our late husband and the love we still hold in our heart for him.