I received a great birthday present last year. It was a framed copy of Proverbs 31:25, “She is clothed in strength and dignity. And she laughs without fear of the future.” I have it on my bathroom wall so I can see it every day. I am not sure about being clothed in strength and dignity, but I have come to embrace “laughs without fear of the future”.
It took quite a bit of work to laugh without fear of the future. Now I am not perfect, just want to get that out there. There are still things I worry about, particularly as they relate to my kids and their futures. A few months ago, I found I was constantly thinking about what my future would hold and it was driving me crazy! Add the fact that like you, I experienced the one thing that couples worry and fear about the most-the death of one’s husband. That event alone will kick worry into high gear for the rest of one’s life! I was a record producing worry factory! The “what-ifs” and the thought of a million different scenarios were taking up brain and heart space I wanted to be using for enjoying life and healing. I was exasperated! I turned to faith and prayer.
My relationship with God goes something like this: “Hi God! Yes, it’s me again! I promise I am learning, but I am worried about x and x and x…” The Lord, with still, quiet impressions in my mind, literally told me not to worry about things. What better answer could I ask for? I decided to put that to the test and you know what? It worked! Instead of focusing on worrying about what I don’t know about my future, I focus on what I do know and exercising my faith that all will be well.
I like the word “laugh” in that proverb as well. Why is she laughing? Is she having a lot of fun? Is she laughing because she knows nothing can hurt her because God is on her side? Is she laughing because she is physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared to confront what life throws at her? Maybe it is all of those reasons.
So if you see me laughing, it just may be I am no longer afraid. Or at least not as afraid.