“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hi everyone! It’s an honor to be here and I’m excited about the opportunity to share my heart and to blog alongside a great group of people. After reading the latest blog entries from my co-bloggers, I knew that I was at home here. Wendy’s blog entry was so timely and well-stated that her quote, “I am not there yet, but I have been given hope…” caught my attention. Why? Because it’s the very subject that this blog entry speaks to. So, what is hope? Wikipedia defines hope as, “an optimistic attitude of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes related to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large.”

Before I jump into the content here, let me relay that I think we can all relate to the ‘circumstance in one’s life’ reference. So I’ll leave this right here.

I Hate My Life

These words were real. Upon scrolling down Facebook’s newsfeed, I saw the words, “I HATE MY LIFE,” written in all caps by a widow. I needed to know more, so of course, I read through her profile to try to get a glimpse of her husband’s picture. I had to, I feel it’s my duty to check on my sisters and would hope they would do the same in return. She created a memorial page in honor of him and I checked it out. As I paged down to read some of the most warming and encouraging comments, I immediately was overcome by sadness. My heart was touched and I tried to imagine the two of them inundated with infinite happiness so much so that the term, widow, would never, ever have become a reality; but it did.

How do you respond to a post like that?

Here is my suggestion: comment!

Let’s admit, we all enjoy seeing those pop-up Facebook notifications. They mostly mean well or regrettably, not. We’re grieving and we need to know that others care and are concerned about our well-being. We need to kill the monotony of not living the life that our husbands would want us to live. We must be more than what grief expects of us. I must admit, it will be hard at first, but we can get through it. And yes, the struggle is indeed real.

My “Shero”

There was one woman who I admired, who the world admired and whose husband would have been proud of her achievements. Her name, Coretta Scott King.

When I was ready to begin to live life the way God intended after the death of my husband, I looked to her bravery and strength to encourage me. She was a wonder woman who fought for justice on behalf of her husband and the nation. She didn’t lose hope, she lived as if her husband were right there by her side and she hustled and flowed like no other. Mrs. King died in 2006 after years of taking on the leadership of the struggle for racial equality. She died a shero to many, which leads me to share something with you. Often times in the mornings I arise with either a song in my spirit or a quote or scripture in view, which helps me begin my day on a positive note. I would like to leave you something positive to start your day as well in hopes that you will place in your planner, stick on the bathroom mirror, share with your congregants or more importantly, share with your widowed sisters:

We must eliminate the gulf of mistrust and ignorance that keeps us from learning from each other. -Coretta Scott King

The harder the struggle, the more glorious the triumph – Anonymous

I don’t want my pain and struggle to make me a victim. I want my battle to make me someone else’s hero. – Anonymous

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.- Romans 12:12 (NIV)

When you’re struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it’s just as hard as what you’re going through. -Nicholas Sparks

God sees your struggle. Keep talking to Him and listen for His direction. -Anonymous

We’ve got some difficult days ahead, but it really doesn’t matter to me now because I’ve been to the mountaintop. -A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love Your Life

Remember, we must not allow ourselves to forge into the dark side, hope can’t grow there. Hope does indeed float to the other side of grief. Don’t lose hope!

Has your hope manifested?


Sabra has been widowed since 2012 after 23 years of marriage and is
the founder of Black Women Widows Empowered, a safe, online and in-person group for women of color who can identify with the unique circumstances and challenges faced in a world of bias, pre-judgement, bigotry, and intolerance while being black and widowed.

She is a certified Christian grief counselor, former GriefShare facilitator, and
Career-Growth Coach. She is the author of The Lost Sheep: How I Got Over the Hump and visionary behind the book collaboration, Widowed, But Not Wounded: The Hustle & Flow of 13 Resilient Black Widowed Women (Dec 2017). Additionally, Sabra has also contributed her writing to Blavity.com.

Sabra’s writing style is primarily tapped with a sense of world awareness.

A Baltimore native, she currently resides in Charlotte with her children.

Visit her website: BlackWomenWidowsEmpowered.com