I’ve hit a new widowhood milestone.
Rebellion.
Over the last few months, I’ve decided I’m tired of being a widow. In fact, I was over this adventure the first 30 days of living it. I’m tired of feeling like I live under a microscope. I’m tired of getting the side eye because I found love again. I’m tired of living up to others’ expectations. I’m tired of trying to fill a void that isn’t mine to fill.
But this isn’t a gym membership or an app we can cancel at any time. We don’t get a free trial to see if this life is for us. We didn’t sign up for this when we took our vows. We didn’t get divine intervention telling us what to do or not to do.
The truth is, we spend 90% of our time on the 10% of people who are usually the most negative.
And you know what?
Free yourself.
Your job isn’t to explain your new life to them.
Your job isn’t to comfort them.
Your job isn’t to fill the shoes of your loved one.
You and your children do not need to fill the void they have in their life (we have Amazon and Starbucks for that 😉).
Your job isn’t to carry their grief. Yours has been heavy enough.
I encourage you to live life uninterrupted and unapologetic again.
Learn to set healthy boundaries.
Go on adventures.
Do something that terrifies you.
Live in the moment.
Let your children make new memories.
Make mistakes.
Move.
Fall in love.
Tear out a wall in your house if it makes you feel better.
Most importantly, learn to love your new life again.
You deserve it.
About Nicole Jacquez
Nicole “Nikki” Jacquez started her journey in July 2020 when her husband, Jeremy, was diagnosed with stage one pancreatic cancer. Jeremy fought bravely but lost his battle in January 2021. He left behind Nikki, their daughter Mia, and countless friends and family. Becoming a widow at 29, Nikki has made it a priority to help educate and have open discussions about the unexpected in life. Nikki has made it a priority to live life to its fullest and to keep having as many adventures as she and Jeremy would have had together. Nikki is learning to live her next chapter in life and is hoping to help other widows be able to do the same.
Love this! So sorry for your loss, 29 that is so young to lose your husband. I like your writing, hope this new chapter brings you peace and comfort and love and happiness and everything in between.