Most widows wonder what our deceased spouses would say to our new loves. Here is a completely fictional, but hopefully comforting letter.

A letter to the man who gets to love my family after my death.

When you get to the great beyond, I owe you a beer and a handshake.

Most people think the deceased are jealous when our spouses choose to love again. I’m not going to lie, I am a little bit. I’d still trade all this for one more day on Earth.

Our love for the same people isn’t a rivalry. There’s no competition. It’s just details to a bigger picture.

I’m glad she found you. You’re brave enough to love and embrace the mess death leaves behind. You constantly remind her how remarkable she truly is.

You don’t need to fill my shoes. You can try, but I promise they won’t fit. You’re meant to live this life as you and her. It’s your story. Don’t let me overshadow it.

Keep my memory alive, but you need to make memories of your own. When they say life is short, they’re not joking. The memories are worth more than money, cars and possessions. It’s the only thing you take with you when you go.

Thank you for being a dad to my children. It takes a great man to love a child he didn’t create. I hope you know your love and support will change their life. You’re helping them become great humans. I hope you’re the loudest person cheering them on. I hope you walk my daughter down the aisle at her wedding. I hope you’re the first one in the room when they have  children of their own.

I will always be here to guide you. Don’t be afraid to sit with me when they’re driving you crazy or when you don’t have the answers. 

In case no one told you, you’re doing an amazing job. I can’t wait to hear all the stories when you’re old and wrinkled.


The “Passing It On” Husband 



Nicole “Nikki” Jacquez started her journey in July 2020 when her husband, Jeremy, was diagnosed with stage one pancreatic cancer. Jeremy fought bravely but lost his battle in January 2021. He left behind Nikki, their daughter Mia, and countless friends and family. Becoming a widow at 29, Nikki has made it a priority to help educate and have open discussions about the unexpected in life. Nikki has made it a priority to live life to its fullest and to keep having as many adventures as she and Jeremy would have had together. Nikki is learning to live her next chapter in life and is hoping to help other widows be able to do the same.