The question was far from my thoughts when I lost the love of my life.
To love again or stay “single” for the rest of my life…
There was no comprehension of being able to, let alone wanting to, love again. So, for many years, it was easy to see my life… alone, I guess you would say. Full of family and friends, but no need to love another.
Let me fast forward eight years of living alone; nothing to complain about except the heartache of missing my precious Douglas. A stirring in my soul has been building, and a willingness to possibly find love again has surfaced. This has brought many emotions along with some confusion.
I met Douglas at the age of fifteen and got married at nineteen. He was my everything, my partner to run to, and he had my back no matter what.
How could I love again?
Who could I love the way I loved him?
Then, I realized something so profound. It came from an intimate conversation we had before he passed. I recalled that precious moment with him, and it was like he sat here next to me, stating… “Jack, it is time. It is time to love again; you have so much to give. It is time for you to be loved as well. You deserve it.”
Through this, it was recognized that I have so much love to give, and loving another will be its own love story. I won’t need to love another the way I loved Douglas. That was its own most amazing love story.
So, to the incredible soul that comes into my life, I welcome you with open arms. There are a few things you need to know before you jump into this. Loving a widow is different than loving someone divorced or never married. We did not choose to be alone; we saw ourselves in love with our precious spouse forever. We have not stopped loving them, it will be present forever! So, coming into the much-protected space we have will possibly be work, even a challenge. I love hard, and once you earn my trust, I will fight for you. I lost my first love to an aggressive brain cancer, and the shattered heart I once housed has been slowly pieced together. It has holes and sharp edges, but there is a significant spot to be filled with your love. You will hear stories of my life with Douglas because he is such a massive part of my story. It will never weaken my love for you, I see it as a strength we will gain from heaven. Be patient with me as there may be occasions of myself being afraid. Afraid to completely open up and afraid to lose you. I want you to know I love the Lord and k
now He will be the center of this journey we will travel together. The independence I have gained over the last eight years must be nurtured. As scared as I am to find you, I am just as excited for the Lord to bring you to me.
Love jacki
To the sweet widow reading this pondering how she will ever get to this point, or screaming, how could you ever think about loving again?! I totally understand where you are coming from. That is why grief is our own journey, and we get to do it exactly how we are doing it.
I was you a few years ago!
Be patient with your journey because as time goes by, your journey can shift. What we thought at the beginning can be released, and a new beautiful way can be shown. Becoming a widow is not a death sentence to living life alone, we get to choose that destination.
Some will be fine living alone, while others will find love quickly after their loss. Then there are the ones that need a few years to figure out what they desire.
This is the beauty of grief.
Love and Blessings
About Jacki Corta
Jacki Corta is a motivational speaker, intuitive life, and grief coach along with the founder and CEO of Strength > Struggle™. The brand she discovered after traveling the journey of cancer with her husband. She started the Strength>Struggle™ crusade, helping others find their inner strength during some of the scariest times. In 2014, her husband, Douglas was diagnosed with Glioblastoma brain cancer and 20 months later passed away, giving Jacki a new title… Widow. It is Jacki’s mission to share her story with the world and how it can positively impact others in whatever they may face. It is a story of unexplainable strength in life’s most challenging storms, overcoming adversity and finding hope while traveling the difficult path her life took.
It is her ability to communicate and willingness to be vulnerable that connects with her clients and audiences. Jacki believes her purpose here is to impact as many souls as possible showing them that through even the darkest days there is a glimpse of light to grab onto for them to find their strength. Jacki will empower, challenge, and give you a new outlook on your own story.
She is a mother of three adult girls and a Mimi to two beautiful granddaughters. You can follow more of her story and inspiration on Instagram @jackicorta or listen to her podcast Jacki Has a Voice on Spotify.
So very on point. I passed 3 years and in the beginning I never thought. Now in these lonely days it seems to enter my thoughts to love again.
I have more life to live!