Buying gifts for a widow seems to make a lot of people nervous, particularly if the loss is new and that loved one hasn’t been a widow for very long. No one wants to offend or upset her. No one wants to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, or give the wrong thing. Here are a few pointers that might help you with gift buying for the widow in your life this Christmas season.
1) Watch out for words. Fancy phrases and words like “blessed,” and “our family” are trendy gifts, but the widow in your life may currently feel a lot more cursed than blessed and she might not feel like a family anymore.
2) Think twice about personalized gifts. For some widows a memorial gift is incredibly touching and well received, but for others personalized gifts could go one of two ways: Giving a gift that includes her husband’s name might upset…..but so could leaving his name out. I remember feeling so strange to have received gifts that emphasized my two son’s names without my husband included any longer. It really brought to focus the permanence of the recent loss and I wasn’t ready for that.
3) Aim for comfort. Deep grief is not only emotional anguish and mental turmoil, it also involves literal physical pain. It almost feels like raw nerve endings that are just longing to be comforted and calmed. I remember appreciating gifts that were super soft like ultra plush blankets, snuggly pajamas and the like. Look for the things that you know might bring her some physical comfort.
4) Expand her interests. A gift that supports or expands on a hobby could be relaxing for her and could help her focus her energies and de-stress a little as she processes her pain. I so appreciated when loved ones remembered my interest in gardening and bought me an indoor hydroponic system and a bonsai tree kit. They knew my interests, but provided a creative new way to pursue them.
5) Don’t be afraid to be practical. Some may say that a gift card or a gift of money is an impersonal gift, however in this case it might be exactly what the widow in your life needs. A young widow raising children alone might be thrilled to have a gift card to help with groceries or for curbside pick-up meals at a favorite restaurant.
6) Ask if you aren’t sure. If you are wondering if the gift idea you have is right for her, don’t be afraid to simply ask. For some widows, a framed photo will be a touching and meaningful gift they adore. For others they may not be ready for such a gift.
7) Give a day away. One of the best blessings for a solo mama or a lonely widow of any age is a day out with a loved one. Gift the gift of a planned adventure. Maybe it is a movie and a manicure, a meal out and a shopping spree, a calming hike and a picnic or whatever creative thing you know would give her encouragement.
8) Memories are a gift. Many widows long for someone to share memories with them about their beloved husband. It brings comfort, honors his life, and celebrates his legacy. If the widow in your life would be touched by the sentiment, why not create a book of written memories or a recording of you describing the way her husband impacted your life saved on a flash drive or e-mailed as an attachment.
Most of all, remember that each person is different. There is no one size fits all perfect fit that works for everyone the same. Secondly, remember that as long as your heart is in the right place, the widow in your life will likely be very appreciative for any effort you make.
Do you have any suggestions to add to the list? Please share your helpful ideas in the comments below.
In Hope & Prayers,
From This Widow Mama
Support Widows This Holiday Season!
As we approach the holidays, the Hope for Widows Foundation is seeking sponsors for our annual Bring Hope Holiday Program. This initiative supports widows facing financial challenges, helping them provide gifts and essentials for their children during this special time of year.
Want to make a difference? Become a sponsor and bring hope to a widow’s family this holiday season. Every contribution, big or small, helps spread joy and light. For more details and to sign up, visit: https://linktr.ee/hopeforwidows
Note: If you are a widow in need of support this holiday season, the widow application will be available at the end of October or the first week of November. You can find it at the same link.
Let’s make this season brighter together!
About Dorothy Swanson
Dorothy lost her beloved husband Oct 2021 to a very unexpected bacterial pneumonia that quickly became septic shock. Her other half and best friend was born with a serious congenital heart defect. Because of that, she had always feared the possibility of being a widow, but she thought it would be more likely due to his heart, and more likely when her husband was in his 50s after the children were grown. Instead, he graduated to heaven just one week before turning 34. Dorothy was 36 with young sons ages 5 and 16 months who adored their Daddy. In less than 48 hours, the life Dorothy and her beloved husband so carefully built together shattered. They were blessed to share just over 8 wonderful, joyous and fun years of marriage. While her heart is so thankful to God for having had their journey together, she has struggled since his death with feeling hurt and let down by God. She has felt so devastated that their love story was short and ended so abruptly. Join her as she shares her unfolding journey of grasping to faith in Christ as she journeys through love, loss, single parenthood, honoring her husband's legacy and guiding her sons through their grief and life without Daddy.