While on a trip this summer, I had some minor flooding in my basement. Because I always said “someday” when thinking about organizing the years of papers, some papers were damaged. I decided to gather all the papers in the basement and sort through them. I brought them upstairs and dumped on a bed in the room that also serves as an office. You have no idea how many papers can be accumulated in 30 years.
Well, the day of reckoning has come. My sister is coming to visit next week and I need to clear the papers out. So it began. It was pretty easy to go through the “homey” and city council election paperwork and then I encountered a layer that hit me in the gut.
I found notes, letters and cards from FHA. Birthday and anniversary cards, notes of peace and encouragement. You get the idea. Yes, I smiled at them, but grief and heartache were there too, big time. It is kind of crazy how grief will hit.
My heart felt like a big, wet washcloth and I let the tears flow, wringing it out. Twisting and pulling, trying to extract as much grief as possible. I drew deeply into my soul. I told FHA how much I love and miss him and how grateful I am he is still part of my world. I told him the things on my mind and I felt his calm reassurance of his love and that everything is okay.
I am still wringing my heart out as I type this, but now I look at the pile of papers with much less dread. I wonder what I will find next?