My boyfriend pillows. Jared Leto and Channing Tatum. Thanks for not getting jealous when I come to bed in my husbands jacket, boys.
My boyfriend pillows. Jared Leto and Channing Tatum. Thanks for not getting jealous when I come to bed in my husbands jacket, boys.

We will all make it through another year, I promise! Try some or all of these resolutions to help get you through another 365 days without your husband.

1. Shower at least twice a week.

  1. Shave your legs once every six months
  1. Stop caring about people’s opinions of your hairy-ass legs
  1. Hire a scientist to invent false eye lashes that stay put after thirty-two straight minutes of crying in the bathroom stall at work/Target
  1. Use the F word less
  1. Just kidding, F*** appropriate language
  1. Find the correct ratio of Benadryl to Wine that will help you sleep for more than two consecutive hours a night
  1. Refrain from using your middle finger when someone says, “So you must be feeling better since it’s been a whole two years since your husband died.”
  1. Just kidding, flip them off, even if you’re in a church
  1. Wear a sign that says, “I’m not divorced, I’m widowed” on all your dates, to avoid the awkward “So how long have you been divorced?” question
  1. Develop an unhealthy obsession with a netflix series; pair with ice cream and/or popcorn
  1. Develop a crush on a celebrity; have his/her face printed on a pillow, cuddle and/or talk to it every night (But not Jared Leto or Channing Tatum because they belong to me)
  1. Wear a black veil with a pink sundress to run errands at least once a week. Everyone thinks you’re crazy anyways, you might as well give them reason
  1. Make it your mission to find your tribe of widows. Some widows grieve with inspirational quotes, comfort foods, and quilts made out of their dead husbands underwear. Some widows grieve with cocktails, rap music, and excessive usage of the phrase, “I hate everything.” Both types of widows and all of the types in between are brave, and scared; and strong and weak. All are beautiful in ways that I cannot write. Seek out your tribe, if you haven’t already. You will feed one another the validation required to begin and continue this life you did not ask for.


Love to all who are reading this. May this year bring you hope, and cocktails that don’t create hangovers.

© Copyright 2016 Michelle Miller


Michelle Miller is a grief blogger, has essays featured on and, and is the author of, Boys, Booze, and Bathroom Floors: Forty-Six Tales about the Collision of Suicide Grief and Dating. Her memoir chronicles the aftermath of her husband’s infidelities and suicide in 2014 at the age of thirty-one, and how she used dating to run from, and simultaneously into her grief.
Prior to her husband’s death, Michelle worked full time with special needs students in a small town while balancing life with two young children and a volatile marriage. Her approach to grief is one of extreme empathy, humor, blunt honesty, and….okay, a few cocktails along the way.
Michelle is currently living with her best friend, and their five children in San Diego, California. She is working on her second book, Ghetto Grief which is a collection of short stories about the unconventional ways in which she grieved and continues to grieve her husband; set to be released in 2017.For links to follow her on social media, view her blog, purchase her book, or read her published essays, visit: