Have it Ready for Me

I have a question.  For you.

When it’s your time.  When your number is called.  Who do you want to greet you on the other side?  And how do you want them to greet you?

Don’t get me wrong. I want to live a long life.

But, when it is my time, when my number is called, I’m not strolling to the gates of Heaven. No. I’m sprinting.

For her. For this.

February 6, 2016. This was supposed to be our wedding day. A day that we could erase the memory of our actual wedding day, July 26, 2013, a day in which we were married at a courthouse. Michelle was violently ill that day, in extreme pain and throwing up non stop. It was 4 days after her cancer diagnosis, 5 days before her 8 hour surgery was scheduled to take place.

February 6, 2016. We had it all planned. The Ivy Hotel, downtown Chicago.

This was the day I’d finally get to watch the love of my life walk down the aisle. Something I had dreamt about since I fell in love with her, at the young age of 18. We never got our dream wedding, but one day we will.

When it’s my time, whenever that may be – here is my request to Michelle:

Have it all ready for me.  All of it.  Perfectly.  Just as we had imagined.

Have the dress on, that beautiful dress that you loved so much. I never got to see you in it, but I know I will. The gorgeous shoes that you looked like an absolute princess in. The hair, the makeup, all of it. Have the candles and the flowers and our colors, purple and grey. Have the special chairs that were supposed to leave unattended to honor Michael, Kevin, Rose and Nicole.

And have Etta. But don’t have her on a speaker system, no, instead have her there with you. Have her sing. That song. That song that told our story so perfectly. That song you were supposed to walk down the aisle to. At Last, by Etta James. A song I have loved forever and that I suggested you walk down to instead of the normal bridal song, and after hearing it, you agreed.

Have it all ready for me. Have my grey suit and the purple bow tie you wanted me to wear.

Have it all ready for me.

The aisle.

You walking down.

Etta singing.

Have it all ready for me.

That smile, those vows, that kiss.

Have it all ready for me.

*You can find John on Facebook by searching Better Not Bitter Widower*

About John Polo

John Polo is a widower and step dad to the world's coolest girl. He also is a small business owner, author, blogger and speaker. His beautiful wife passed away at the age of 30 on January 22nd, 2016. They fell in love in high school and separated for eight years before they found their way back to each other. Shortly after, she was diagnosed with an extremely rare and aggressive cancer. Somehow, through the loss and horrific tragedy that was, John found a better him. His goal is to help others through their grief.
His website is as follows: www.BetterNotBitterWidower.com