I talked to many social workers during the two and a half years that Michelle was sick.  We spent so much time in the hospital between the surgeries, the treatments, etc. that while she was sleeping I would often ask for a various social worker to come to talk to me in the waiting room.  My grief was so intense.  The knowledge that her cancer was so rare, so aggressive and was not going to be beat. I needed to speak to someone, to cry to someone. To pour my heart and my soul out to someone.

For all of the amazing help that these individuals gave me – and they did – they helped me SO much – nobody ever told me the medical term for what I was experiencing:  Anticipatory Grief.

A few months after Michelle passed away I stumbled across this article.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Hey, that’s me!  That’s what I had!

It finally made sense.

The grief that I endured while Michelle was alive was finally explained.  Finally justified.

Anticipatory Grief.

Read this.


You can follow John Polo at www.betternotbitterwidower.com and on his Facebook page by searching Better Not Bitter Widower



John Polo is a widower and step dad to the world's coolest girl. He also is a small business owner, author, blogger and speaker. His beautiful wife passed away at the age of 30 on January 22nd, 2016. They fell in love in high school and separated for eight years before they found their way back to each other. Shortly after, she was diagnosed with an extremely rare and aggressive cancer. Somehow, through the loss and horrific tragedy that was, John found a better him. His goal is to help others through their grief.
His website is as follows: www.BetterNotBitterWidower.com