71 months today.  

Which means in 4 weeks, it will be 6 years.

How is that possible?


So much has changed. 

And yet, so many things have stayed the same.

71 months today.


Steven starts 11th grade.

His 3rd year of high school.

Another first you didn’t get to see.


He’s still playing football.

He’s playing center this year .

Another year you are not here to be his coach.


I’m getting my doctorate.

It’s even harder than when I got my masters. 

You’re probably thankful you don’t have to hear me complain.


We still talk about you.

We laugh when we think of the sarcastic comments you would have made.

Not a day goes by we don’t miss you.


We still travel and have a list of must see places.

We wish you were here to make new memories with us.

And yet, our vacations always include you. 


I worry I will forget the little things…your laugh, the shade of blue of your eyes, your smell, and the way I felt in your arms.

I worry I am not enough for Steven and somehow I am going to screw it up.

So I pray to get it right and never forget.


Today is 71 months…almost 6 years.

I never thought I would survive your death but I am.

But you knew I would, didn’t you?


71 months today.

So many changes.

But one thing will never change, I will always love you.


Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less.

She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief

Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.