Always and forever.

 

Two words that can be so hard.

 

I’ll always love Jared.  And I’ll always miss him.

Jared is forever gone from this earth.  I’ll spend forever, the rest of my life without him.

 

Always and forever.  Two words that can inflict such emotional pain.

 

How can two words hurt so much?

 

Promises of always and forever bring such joy but when those promises are broken for reasons we cannot understand, that joy turns to heartache.

 

I’ll always feel Jared’s love in my heart.

I’ll forever be Jared’s widow.

 

I always try to keep my promises and I made my husband a promise to live.

I will forever be living a life that was not planned.  Planning a future without my forever love by my side.

 

I’ll always keep Jared’s memory alive.

As long as I live, he will be remembered, forever.

 

I have recently realized that I will always survive, even when I think I can’t.

I will forever be grateful that I was Jared’s forever love.

 

I will always live and hope he is proud.

I will forever listen for him in the waves of the ocean.

 

I will always know I am blessed with a love story many never get to experience.

I will forever be thankful for a love that can withstand death.

 

I will always ensure that my son knows his father loved him and never wanted to leave him.

I will forever tell Steven his dad would be proud of him.

 

I will always encourage Steven to seek out adventure as life is meant to be lived.

I will forever remind Steven that his dad wanted nothing more than to see Steven happy.

 

I will always hold Jared in my heart.  

There will forever be a part of my soul that is reserved just for our special love.

 

I will always try to honor my promise and truly live.

I will forever wonder what Jared would think about my decisions for this new life.

 

I will always love Jared no matter what journey my life takes.

I will forever be changed because of Jared’s life and his death.

 

I will always be discovering who I am now and who I want to be.

I will forever be living a life that counts because he would expect no less.

 

I will always know I can face life’s hardest obstacles and do more than just survive.

I will forever remember that life is meant to not just be lived but enjoyed.

 

Always and forever.

 

Two words that can bring joy, heartache, and now, for me, hope.

 

And I can absolutely feel Jared smiling down on me with love and pride…always and forever.

About 

Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less.

She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief

Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.

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Carla Duff

Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less. She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.

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