I’m not sure where I got this idea, but I started a list of things I miss about my husband. Though it might seem just sad, it’s not all sad. The things I miss are also the things that make me smile. Here’s some of my list:

  • Tuesday was his laundry day. He always said “Thank-you” when he got home to find I’d already started a load for him, or, on days I wasn’t at work, I’d completed a load
  • Discovering new coffee shops together
  • Riding around his old neighborhood as he pointed out houses where his friends had lived and he told stories of their escapades
  • Being of the same mind as me on the important things
  • Giving generously, especially to those in ministry
  • Hiking with me and putting up with stopping for my Instagram pictures and an occasional selfie with me

  • Noticing the pure blue sky as if it had never been seen before, like God’s mercies –   “Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” – Lam. 3:22-23
  • His love of baseball; I still see him sitting on the couch keeping track of the Braves in his scorebook. Even if I wasn’t watching with him, I loved the background sound of the game
  • His large calves
  • His nightly habits: setting up his CPAP machine and making sure his little clock was facing so he could see it if he woke in the night
  • Saturday grilling, especially steaks
  • Watching Wheel of Fortune while we ate supper
  • Too many Blizzards from Dairy Queen
  • The perfume he would buy for me at Christmas. He would go to the kiosk at the mall, test smell a bunch and hand pick two for me. I still have a smidge left in the bottle he bought me in December, 2019.
  • Buying the same socks and underwear from J.C.Penney
  • Eating BBQ; especially Jim-n-Nicks, Sonny’s, Bono’s and Mojo’s.
  • “Make a hole, make it wide” 
  • Knock-out roses and crepe myrtles

  • Hearing him singing hymns in his office at home
  • His pointing out cardinals in the yard
  • The way he would go to 2-3 stores to find just the right card for me or his mom or our daughters.
  • Smoking cigars, drinking wine, playing Scrabble and sometimes slow dancing, all on the back porch
  • A roast with carrots and potatoes
  • Talking in bed at night
  • Making bacon and eggs for us on a Saturday morning
  • Hanging a paper towel from the coffee pot at night so we would know it was ready to just turn on the next morning
  • The hair on his arms that never changed
  • Listening to the Saturday phone conversations he had with his mom and brothers
  • The flowers he surprised me with. One of the last times I’d been visiting the grandkids without him, gone 5-6 days, he bought me TWO bouquets to greet me when I returned
  • Getting sandwiches from Mr. P’s
  • Visiting Riverside Arts Market (Jacksonville, FL) and Pepper Place Market (Birmingham, AL) on Saturday mornings 
  • Browsing bookstores and record shops
  • The Avett Brothers
  • Him helping me put my sweater on in church
  • The special, handpicked necklaces he bought for some anniversaries. The last one he got me was the tiny, Art Deco piece from the 1920s. A ruby for our Ruby Anniversary. 40 years. We had one more anniversary after that one. 

I would love for any readers to share something from their list of things they miss about their loved one. Feel free to share in a comment below. 


Angie Bell was born in Georgia but raised in Florida to where she recently returned after six years in Birmingham, Alabama. She is a former teacher who loves hiking, photography, and writing, often combining all three.

After planning for several years, working on a way to live on a shoestring budget, Angie’s husband of 41 years put in for early retirement so they could move back home. They put their house on the market and had a contract within four days. Less than two weeks later her husband was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. They decided to transfer his care and move back to Jacksonville, Florida, renting a furnished apartment and hoping for a miracle. One month later he was gone. After her third move in less than a year, Angie is now in Tampa where her grandchildren live, trying to find her way in her new life. God, in His mercy, has put numerous other widows in her life and a new empathy for this sisterhood she never would have chosen.