Growing up I played with Barbie and Ken and all I wanted was the pink corvette, and Ken. As I played with my Barbie doll and changed her clothes, I imagined my life and what it would be like. What my Barbie and Ken world would be. I even learned how to make my own clothes for my Barbie because I wanted her to be different from all of the other Barbie dolls. The one Christmas when I opened that dream house, all was perfect with the world. I made Barbie a white dress and Ken had a blue suit we were married; we got in the corvette and went to Malibu on our honeymoon and came back, and we lived happily ever after in our new dream home.
Wow if only life with Kenneth and I had been that simple. I just wanted a simple life my Ken doll, my happy marriage riding off to Malibu and living happily ever after. I know we all dream, if you are like me, you dream BIG! The day I said, “I Do” to Kenneth was my second time standing at the altar. But I knew when I said those words to Kenneth, I was made whole. I was able to live again. I was able to be happy again. I was living with my Ken doll, and life was great, even during the rough days, the no money days, the how we are going get through next month days. The good, the bad, and hard days did not matter to me because with my Ken doll, I stood six feet tall, and knew that our love would stand the test of time.
As I made my regular visit to the cemetery this week to replace the flowers on Kenneth’s grave, I stood there and talked to him. I cried, I laughed, and I cried some more. I said, to him we would have been on this Ken and Barbie journey for seven years riding in our pink corvette with the top down, living life carefree if only you would have stayed with me that night. I just want my Ken doll. I was good every year, I did everything right, and I just want to go to the Christmas tree and unwrap that one last gift my Ken doll, my Kenneth. So much for dreaming.
As widows we really think out of the norm because our thinking process changes the day that our spouse leaves us behind. As I always say grieving is for us to do in our own way, in our own time. Remember continuing to share those happy memories that you have of your spouse, and most importantly take care of yourself!
***Have you heard about Hope for Widows Foundation’s annual Restoring Hope & Peace Grant program? It was established by the organization in 2019 to help widowed women offset financial challenges as they navigate their healing journey. You can find out details, timeline and the history of this grant here: https://hopeforwidows.org/
grant/ All widows based in U.S. and Canada are encouraged to apply. Applications open on National Widows Day, May 3, 2022. For additional questions feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org ***