I heard a song the other day by Ed Sherran, called visiting hours. It melted my heart the words are powerful when he comes to how I feel. I wished that heaven had visiting, especially on the days when I struggle to make it through the day. I wish that heaven had visiting hours, so that I can speak to God and ask him why? I wish that heaven had visiting so I can tell Kenneth how much I miss him and tell him about all the things that has changed since he has been away. I wish that heaven had visiting hours, so that I can talk to Kenneth and ask him for his advice. I wish that heaven had visiting hours; so that I can feel his touch, smell his skin, rub his head, hold him and not let him go. I wish that heaven had visiting hours so I could swing by to tell God how my heart is broken and shattered. I wish that heaven had visiting hours so that I could tell you how your team Florida Gators has played the last few years. If heaven had visiting hours, I would ask God to please give you back to me, I would tell him how unfair it was to take, the man that I know he kept for me away. If heaven had visiting hours, I would talk to God and tell him this pain that I feel hurts more each and every day. If heaven had visiting hours, I would stay until visiting hours are over each day. I would stay and cherish each and every moment. I would catch you up on all of the episodes of Paternity Court, watch Training Day for the 100 time with you, I would tell you how many times I have cooked, and burned something in the oven, I would just sit and listen to you talked for hours.

This widow journey is a different journey for each of us, we all handle it differently. They say that time heals all wounds, I am waiting on that day to come. I will encourage each of you as I encourage myself to stay in the fight and live a life that I know my husband would be proud of.