Where have you been?
Oh, I have been fighting a battle within. I have been trapped in darkness. I have been traveling my journey alone, by my own choice. I’ve been furious; this is the angriest I have ever been. I chose not to speak to you anymore. See, I dug my feet in very deep; my stubbornness was in full force. I had my mind made up that I was doing this journey on my own. I had trusted you for so long, and I concluded not to put my trust in you. I was in control of myself, my choices, and my situations. That is where I have been.
Do you believe you walked in the darkness alone?
Do you think your anger blocked me?
Do you think you weren’t doing work?
Do you think the platform I gave you was ripped out from underneath you?
I, my sweet child, have held you on some of the darkest days you have been traveling. That was not you but me.
You may have cussed me, spoke of anger towards me, but I have only loved you. Your rage has not affected my relationship with you. I have only been by your side, waiting patiently for the light you shine to be back burning bright.
Although you feel you have not been doing my work, oh child of mine, do not be deceived, you have continually been doing my job just a bit quieter. You are planting things within you that will only be magnified when you are ready.
I have always known you would step back on that platform you speak of, but with a fire inside that would allow you to reach more.
Deep in your faith, you know trusting me and my plans will only prosper you. That confusion will be cleared in due time.
This conversation I have had! It came from my heart, and I honestly thought I would not trust, and I would do it on my own. It was what I thought being a widow would be, traveling alone in a dark place for the rest of my life.
Here is what I have learned and now know:
It doesn’t matter where you are, what you are going through, or how hurt you may feel. The Lord will always… always… ALWAYS not sometimes but ALWAYS be with you. He will love, hold, guide, and be faithful to you! Even if you aren’t ready or don’t want it or feel it!
It has taken me a few years to see how impactful my journey as a widow is finally. I am grateful I can share my story; possibly, one soul may be inspired!
So, to that one soul, go ahead and dig your heels in, go ahead and be angry, and think you can do it on your own. Because patiently on the sideline, YOUR SIDELINE,
The Lord awaits!
Love and Blessings to all!