The first Thanksgiving I spent with Jay, he was not yet my husband. We weren’t even dating. He and his family lived across the street from my grandma, and we had all gathered potluck style.
Mostly, he had annoyed me. His mother brought ten pounds of mashed potatoes, and Jay ate almost half of them. We played soccer in the grass, and he was overly competitive. I remember thinking –
This guy and his mullet and bottomless pit for a stomach and pushy competitiveness…**eye roll.
I had no idea I would marry him four years later and spend the next 24 Thanksgivings making ten pounds of potatoes and – laughing about it, smiling about the mysteries of love.
This year will be quiet. The cost of travel is keeping me from my grandchildren and two other adult kids, so it will just be me and Liz, my 21-year-old, for a tiny Thanksgiving day. We are accustomed by now – almost five years into grieving – to what the holidays demand: the conscious choice to enjoy the moment amidst the weight of Jay’s absence.
For us, achieving this joy is about food traditions. On the list are of course – ham and turkey – but also homemade blueberry and cherry pies, a pastry called an apple rose, my famous breakfast frittata, the best green bean casserole in all the land, chocolate mousse in champagne flutes, roasted herb stuffing with cranberries and sausage, AND more mashed potatoes than anyone could ever need. We will of course be making potato pancakes out of the leftovers (another of Jay’s favorites).
I am blessed and grateful to be in a financial position to purchase what we need, even more grateful to have adult children who can afford the same, enabling us to continue our Thanksgiving traditions and experience a little joy, even though we are separated this year, even though we are continuing on without Jay – but it is only possible because we are fortunate enough to have the financial means.
The holidays are often a time of warmth, togetherness, and gratitude. But for widowed families facing the season with heavy hearts, it can be a reminder of loss and difficult challenges.
This year, you have the opportunity to bring joy and support to these courageous families through the Hope for Widows Foundation’s “Bring Hope” virtual holiday program.
By becoming a sponsor, you can directly uplift families who need a little bit of joy. Your generosity can transform their season, replacing feelings of loneliness and struggle with warmth and connection. Every gift, every moment of support counts. Your sponsorship not only offers essential resources but also sends a powerful message: these families are not forgotten. They are seen, supported, and cherished.
From helping with holiday meals, gifts for children, and critical necessities, your contributions shine as a beacon of hope during their time of need. Together, we can bring holiday magic and heartfelt encouragement to those navigating one of life’s hardest journeys.
Applications for sponsorship are being accepted through December 7, 2024. Be the reason a widow and her children have a reason to smile this season. Reach out and learn how you can make a difference:
To become a Sponsor or complete a Widow Application, please visit the link: https://linktr.ee/hopeforwidows
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About Sonney Wolfe
Sonney Wolfe is a writer, educator, mother, nona (grandma), and widow. She holds a Master of Arts in English, teaches academic and professional writing for the University of Maryland, and writes features, press releases, blog posts, and personal essays for various news and social media.
Widowed in December of 2019, she soon joined the masses in COVID lockdowns, which deepened her understanding of grief as she witnessed widespread loss, especially among students. Now, she integrates grief support in her college classrooms by addressing pandemic disruptions, community loss, and mental health challenges. Her autobiographical teaching philosophy, born from her own grief journey, provides a platform to share her experiences and support students who have also lost loved ones.
In her professional writing, she sheds light on the human experience of loss and grief, particularly for widows. She explores the complex societal shift they face, transitioning from wives to widows and often single parents. This sudden change forces widows to navigate not only grief, but also a landslide of challenges: income loss, economic strain, relocation, career shifts, altered healthcare needs, and declining mental health.
Her Blog WIM Dispatches (Woman in Motion), https://sonneywolfe.com, chronicles her personal grief journey and advocates for the needs of widows, along with her IG: @WIM_Dispatches – and Facebook page: WIM Dispatches Life After Jay.