This year, something unexpected happened: I’m actually looking forward to the holidays. After years of greeting the season with a mix of dread, exhaustion, and let’s be honest, a bit of forced cheer, I feel something new—a spark of genuine excitement. When my daughter asked to pull out the decorations, I didn’t feel the usual weight pressing down on my shoulders. Instead, I found myself picturing the house filled with twinkling lights, the aroma of homemade treats, and that warm glow you only get when family comes together.
I don’t know exactly when this shift happened, but here we are. I’m grateful for the bond I’ve built with my kids, for every laugh and every tear that’s brought us closer. I’m thankful for the family we are now and the new traditions we’re creating, step by step. And I’m grateful for my partner, who’s shown up in ways I didn’t even know I needed.
So this season, I’m letting go of the forced smiles and opening up to the magic. I’m choosing joy, gratitude, and a little bit of holiday sparkle—because, finally, it feels right.
Choosing Gratitude Over Grief
For anyone who has experienced loss, finding joy in the holidays can be hard. The holiday season, with all its nostalgic traditions, can bring up memories and emotions that make it feel impossible to enjoy. But this year, as I watch my kids grow and see the joy on their faces, I realize that grief doesn’t have to be the center of our holidays. Gratitude can fill that space.
Finding this gratitude didn’t happen overnight. It took years of learning, self-compassion, and, yes, tools to manage the overwhelming stress and emotions that arise—especially for moms who carry the weight of grief while striving to make the holidays special for their kids. In these moments, practical strategies have been essential for managing holiday stress, reframing overwhelming moments, and creating meaningful holiday memories without the emotional burnout.
Building New Traditions
This year, we’re diving into creating new traditions that feel right for our family now. From cooking our own holiday meal together (which, of course, includes the kids stirring and “taste-testing”) to planning gifts for each other, we’re bringing a sense of simplicity and authenticity to our celebrations. I’m no longer focused on what we “should” do, but rather what feels joyful and meaningful to us.
One of our new traditions involves gratitude: every night, we each share one thing we’re grateful for that day. As simple as it sounds, this small practice has brought us closer, helping each of us see the season through a lens of appreciation rather than expectation. This holiday gratitude ritual has become an anchor for us—a reminder of everything we have, everything we’ve overcome, and everything we’re building together.
Rediscovering the Holiday Spirit
For the first time in years, I find myself looking forward to the moments we’ll share together: the glow of the lights, the smell of cookies baking, the laughter as my kids plot their holiday surprises. This is what the holiday spirit looks like for me now—less about keeping up appearances and more about keeping up connections.
To other moms navigating grief and holiday stress, I want to say this: take it one day at a time. The joy may come slowly, but it will come. And if you need a few tools to help get there, you’re not alone. There’s a whole community of moms who understand what it’s like to create holiday joy while carrying the weight of loss.
Looking Forward with Hope
This season, I’m choosing to honor both the past and the future. I’m grateful for the journey we’ve had, the people we’ve become, and the love we’ve found along the way. I know that we have many more holidays ahead, filled with laughter, connection, and genuine joy. This year, we’re embracing the holiday spirit with open hearts, full of gratitude for the present and hope for the future.
So here’s to finding magic again, one day at a time. Happy holidays!
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Support Widows This Holiday Season! As we approach the holidays, the Hope for Widows Foundation is seeking sponsors for our annual Bring Hope Holiday Program. This initiative supports widows facing financial challenges, helping them provide gifts and essentials for their children during this special time of year.
Want to make a difference? Become a sponsor and bring hope to a widow’s family this holiday season. Every contribution, big or small, helps spread joy and light. For more details and to sign up, visit: https://linktr.ee/hopeforwidows.
Note: If you are a widow in need of support this holiday season, the widow application will be available at the end of October or the first week of November. You can find it at the same link. Let’s make this season brighter together!