I am what I call a Double, that is I have lost 2 husbands, one when I was just 40 years old, the other at age 72. Both battled long illnesses, that left me exhausted and very much feeling along and isolated.

I have somehow survived these losses and gone on to a nice life. I travel, have friends, shop, go to lunch, in general just have a nice life. One thing I have discovered is that the public does not understand how isolating being a widow can be. We not only lost our spouses, our best friends, our security but often our social life as well.

There is a Facebook site called “Think Positive Power” It has so many short but thoughtful quotes to make you think life is good.  Here is one “there will always be hard days, but they can’t erase the good ones. Keep going there is still Joy, waiting to surprise you.”

I am the coordinator of a widow’s group called Sweethearts we are (widows of members) of an all-male nonprofit. We meet once a month for fellowship, lunch and to play a silly dice game for pocket change. This group has been in existence for over 30 years.

I was wondering if widows in Jacksonville, Florida would benefit from a similar group open to the public, so I have started another group called Willows. If you are interested, contact me.

Ruth Saunders

At 39 years old, Ruth Wester found herself a widow raising three teenage children. Her husband, Greg Wisdom, was just 35 when he was diagnosed with cancer. Greg worked as both a firefighter and a paramedic and faced nearly ten years of treatment—chemotherapy, radiation, and multiple surgeries. In the end, his body could no longer keep up the fight. After 20 years and 17 days of marriage, Greg passed away, leaving behind a loving family. Eight years later, Ruth married Mel Saunders, who had been a close friend of Greg’s and had also lost his spouse five years earlier. Their friendship and shared life experiences brought them together. They blended their two families—each with three adult children—into one. Thankfully, the children were already friends, and the transition was a smooth one. But after 23 years of marriage to Mel, Ruth was widowed once again when he passed away. Over the years, Ruth has worked in a variety of roles. She was the editor of a newspaper for an all-male fraternal organization for 17 years, published a small children’s magazine, and worked as a dental assistant and medical receptionist. Today, Ruth is retired and lives in Florida with her small dog, Sophie. She enjoys spending time at the beach with her daughter and stays active in her community. Ruth coordinates a widows’ support group that meets monthly for lunch and conversation. She also runs a card ministry, sending handmade greeting cards to widows who could use a little encouragement. Ruth’s life has included great loss, but she continues to find purpose in connection and care for others.

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