As clocks turn back on November 2 for Daylight Saving Time, the extra hour can stir memories of our husbands—shared routines, quiet evenings, or the familiar rhythm of life together. For widows, this moment may tug at the heart, inviting us to linger in the past. We might experience a type of groundhog hour.
My thoughts drift back to life when my husband was still here. So much has changed. When the waves of memories flood through my mind, there are times I wish I could get a do-over, go back in time. There is so much on my heart I want to share with him. There are questions I want to ask him.
Yet, Scripture teaches us the importance of moving forward, trusting God’s purpose for every season of our lives. Philippians 3: 12-14 urges,
I admit I haven’t yet acquired the absolute fullness I’m pursuing, but I run with passion into His abundance so I may reach the purpose for which Christ Jesus laid hold of me to make me His own. I don’t depend on my own strength to accomplish this; however I do have one compelling focus: I forget all of the past as I fasten my heart to the future instead. I run straight for the divine invitation of reaching the heavenly goal and gaining the victory-prize through the anointing of Jesus.
Philippians 3:12-14 TPT
The past holds precious memories, but living there can dim God’s light for the future. As our defender and loving Father, God sees our grief. Clocks may rewind, but God designed us to move forward through every season we are given here on earth to a hope-filled destiny.
Every Day is a New Beginning
YAHWEH’s tender mercies have no end, and the kindness of His endless love is never exhausted. New, fresh mercies greet me with every sunrise. So wonderfully great is Your faithfulness! I tell my soul, “YAHWEH is my abundant portion. I need nothing more. So, I will put all my hope in Him.”
Lamentations 3: 22-24 TPT
This passage illustrates God’s infinite love and compassion. We acknowledge His mercies are new every morning. This reminds us yesterday’s failures do not determine today’s joy. Each day provides a chance to start fresh, surrounded by His unfailing love and faithfulness, allowing us to appreciate the present.
Living in the present is a vital aspect of our spiritual journey. Grief and struggles might tempt us to become so consumed with what happened yesterday we fail to realize the beauty of today. It is crucial to our spiritual and emotional health to appreciate the importance of the moment we have right now. When we focus our thoughts and actions on the present, we create room for gratitude, joy, and fulfillment. We become more aware of God’s blessings all around us. Choosing to be fully present in the life we live today enables us to grow and connect deeply with God, ourselves, and others. It opens the door to allow us to shine His light brightly in the world.
Why do we Tend to Stray to the Past
As widows, we often stray to the past because it holds the comfort of familiar love—shared moments with our husbands that feel safe amid grief’s confusion. Memories are tangible reminders of joy, identity, and purpose once rooted in marriage. The ache of loss can make the past seem brighter, a refuge from an uncertain future. Worries and pressures this life can pour on us can sometimes feel overwhelming and bring discouragement even when we’ve navigated some big hurdles with God’s help.
This pull is natural, but not God’s final call. Scripture warns against lingering. Christ gives us freedom from the past, enabling us to live in His grace and embrace the future with hope.
At last we have freedom, for Christ set us free! We must always cherish this truth and firmly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past.
Galatians 5: 1 TPT
Straying to the past can hinder healing, as it focuses on what was lost rather than God’s restoring work. While it’s important to learn from our past, we are not meant to live in it. God wants us to grow and move forward with the lessons we’ve learned, not dwell on past mistakes.
Set your gaze on the path before you. With fixed purpose, looking straight ahead, ignore life’s distractions. Watch where you’re going! Stick to the path of truth, and the road will be safe and smooth before you. Don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked for even a moment or take the detour that leads to darkness.
Proverbs 4: 25-27 TPT
God sees us and understands our longing, but reveals His intricately woven design for hope. Emotional healing, a vital part of our journey, comes when we release our burdens to our defender.
Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life. Let your joy overflow! And let gentleness be seen in every relationship, for our Lord is ever near.
Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell Him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ.
Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising Him always. Put into practice the example of all you heard from me or have seen in my life and the God of peace will be with you in all things.
Philippians 4: 4-9 TPT
None of Us are Promised Tomorrow
It’s important to recognize the fleeting nature of life. There is great value in every minute we are given here in this life. Embracing this perspective encourages us to live intentionally in the present, cherishing each moment, and making the most of our days as we seek to honor God in all we do.
But you don’t have a clue what tomorrow may bring. For your fleeting life is but a warm breath of air that is visible in the cold only for a moment and then vanishes! Instead you should say, “Our tomorrows are in the Lord’s hands and if He is willing we will live life to its fullest and do this or that.”
James 4: 14-15 TPT
Trust God’s Timing
God’s timing is perfect, and although we may not understand it, we can trust He is working everything for our good, even when we struggle with our past. Just like turning the clocks backward an hour, or forward an hour, disrupts our body’s rhythm and throws many lives off balance, when we try to hold on to a past that’s gone, we remain unbalanced. We can’t give our best to right now. We will likely miss special moments and gifts God is revealing because we aren’t engaged in the present.
I have seen the business God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He put eternity into man’s heart, yet so He cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
I perceived there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil-this is God’s gift to man.
Ecclesiastes 3:10-13 ESV
Find Peace by Letting Go of the Past
Letting go of the past allows us to find true peace in God’s presence. We are not meant to live in regret, but in the peace that surpasses all understanding. No matter what season we’re in, God’s presence is with us. We can trust Him through the ups and downs of life, knowing He is always with us.
I leave the gift of peace with you—My peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but My perfect peace. Don’t yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts—instead, be courageous!
John 14: 27 TPT
Understanding our divine calling is a profound journey that begins with recognizing God has a personal and unique purpose for each of us. That purpose continues even though we no longer have our spouse by our side. God not only knows us individually but called us by name to fulfill a specific role in His grand and glorious design. He reminds us He is personally involved with helping us fulfill the destiny He created us to complete. He gives us numerous examples in His Word to help us see He wants the same kind of personal relationship with us He wrote about in nearly every book of the Bible.
Every season matters. As “God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works” (Ephesians 2: 10), I encourage you to recognize and respond to God’s call on your life. Make a conscious choice to let go of the past. Choose to let God empower you to live out your divine purpose with faith and confidence.
This fall, as clocks turn back, honor your husband’s memory by stepping into God’s calling. You are not stuck—God is revealing a vibrant future, and your story is still being written.
About Teri Miner
Teri’s dance with grief actually began over five years before she watched her beloved husband of almost 37 years take his last breath and enter Heaven’s door on October 6, 2019. A terminal degenerative neurological disease steadily and increasingly attacked nearly every major system of his body and transformed him from a vibrant, brilliant, strong and caring man to a bedfast invalid at the end. She was devoted to caring for him and doing her best to make the most of every minute they had left, to love him and pray for a miracle.
She thought she knew what her future held, but she had no idea. Losing him was the first time she experienced a close and personal loss. He was the love of her life. The onslaught of the pandemic with its reign of fear-mongering, forced isolation and separation entering the scene and disrupting or destroying whatever sense of “normal” that remained, just added insult to injury.
Her faith in God is the sustaining force keeping her fighting spirit to find and share hope in a bright future. Her heart’s desire is to walk beside her fellow widows toward a path of promise and healing. She wants to offer encouragement and hope so others can find the strength to take that next breath or next step. She recently started her own blog, https://widowwhispers.blogspot.com/, to share with other widows not only the struggles and hardships of widowhood, but the triumphs. Her hope is found in leaning on the Lord Jesus to enjoy a God inspired future anchored in expectation He will bring us to a fulfilling and meaningful life.