It’s true that in life, oftentimes people don’t really listen just to listen – they listen to reply.
A person might be speaking something aloud and instead of absorbing what is being said, the “listener” is in their head, formulating a response.
While carefully choosing one’s words when replying is a good thing, sometimes in doing so, we miss much of what is being said.
Never has this been more obvious to me than after I became widowed.
It’s almost as if people had stock responses set up to utter back after I said something.
I get it; talking about death can be awkward. (I don’t know why – it’s something we all have to do at some point.) Sometimes, though, it’s not that it’s an awkward topic, it’s that it’s just plain hard to talk about.
It can be tough for people to jump into emotional topics, so a pre-calculated response might feel easier.
But if you listen–really listen–you can offer so much more to your bereaved friend.
In doing so, you share their thoughts. You actively participate in the healing process – not just offer cookie-cutter condolences.
This can be said for any conversation, not just emotional ones: Listen to what’s being said. Take it all in and then reply. Sure, it might slow things a bit, but that’s how we really connect; not everything needs to be so fast paced.
If you have a friend or loved one who is really going through something, one of the nicest things you can do is truly listen to them when they open up.
Listen to listen – not listen only to reply.
This is how we bond. This is how we learn.
This is how we heal.
Image via Bing AI
About Layla Beth Munk
Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.
Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.