I feel like I’ve been waiting since Tommy, my husband, died in July 2024. It seems like yesterday sometimes, but other times, it feels like a whole other lifetime ago. And I’ve been waiting since then. I’ve been waiting on a job. I’ve been waiting on direction. I’ve been waiting for guidance as to what’s next for my life. Always waiting. And the waiting is THE hardest part, isn’t it?
I used to tease Tommy about how impatient he was. He would ask me for help and if I put him off for a second, he’d just go and do it himself. He’d often end up with results that were unwanted! I’d tell him over and over again, just wait for me if you need help with something! That never changed in our 10 years of marriage. I’d be so frustrated with him at times, wishing he would listen to me and JUST WAIT!!
Now I wonder if God wasn’t using that time to prepare me for this waiting. He’s been teaching me so much during the last year and a half. He’s been proving Himself faithful, over and over, and using my time of waiting to help heal my heart in some pretty big ways! So, it would make sense that He’d also use the time before this to prepare me, too.
In the last few weeks, I’ve had to wait on so many physical things. My car broke down and I waited over a week for my mechanic, before finally finding a new one who had it fixed the next day. I waited on God to provide rent and food money, because of the recent changes to my finances that I’m still trying to balance. I’ve waited on my son’s medication one day, because one of the pharmacist was on lunch break when I happened to stop by to pick it up. I’ve waited to get back to church, after being absent for a couple of weeks. There have been lots of things I’ve had to wait on. God is definitely teaching me what patience is all about, that’s for sure!!
During all this waiting, He keeps revealing Himself to me, and showing me little glimpses of what He has planned for me. God keeps encouraging me to keep waiting on Him! One of my devotions, on one of my lowest days this past week was from Psalm 40, which starts out “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.” Then in verse 3 “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” He was reminding me that while I wait on Him, I should be praising Him! After all, hasn’t He been faithful, always? He has come thru for me every time I have been in need! My mouth should be speaking His praise, my voice singing for all to hear of how Good He truly is!! Instead of complaining about my situation, I should be focusing on Him, keeping my eyes above the waves, and my face turned toward Him.
In Matthew 14, we see Peter getting out of a boat and walking on water toward Jesus. Verses 30-31 (NIV) says “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his and and caught him. “You of little faith” he said “why did you doubt?” This is me some days, when I lose focus on Jesus. I doubt, sometimes just for a minute, that He will keep His promises. It may only be for a minute, but that doubt has me sinking into the water. Jesus is always right there though, reaching for me, grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me back up. He knows that my human side will falter at times. He understands because He knows me better than anyone else! God keeps reminding me, that while I’m waiting, I still need to keep my eyes on Jesus. I need to keep focused on what is most important, living a life that pleases God. I need to keep being reminded that I am His, and He is mine.
There is a song by Rend Collective that I play when I start to doubt, called “Oceans (Where Feet May Fail). I want to leave you with a few of the lyrics here to encourage you to keep your eyes on Jesus this week, no matter the circumstances in your life, no matter what you may be waiting for right now. Here they are: “You call me out upon the waters. The great unknown where feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand. I will call upon your name, And keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, My soul will rest in your embrace. For I am YOURS and you are MINE!” Let Him be yours too, my sisters! He will NOT fail you! He loves you as His own, and His promises are true, as they have always been. He will reach for you whenever you start to fall. Keep your eyes on the One who is truly yours!
