There is no timeline for grief; we grieve for as long as we need.
My timeline, however, has a new update: I am no longer in any kind of active grief.
I think I’ve been here for a while now, but I am only just now making this realization.
Don’t get me wrong – “grief waves” will always be a thing, and I will always be hurt by Bret’s exit. But the wounds are no longer fresh.
They are scars now. Not even bright, shiny red scars. They’re faded and becoming more level with my skin.
These scars don’t stick out much at all anymore and can easily blend in with the other, decorated parts of me.
There was once a time when I didn’t want to reach this level of healing. I wanted to be “married” to my grief – I even remember saying as much to myself. I thought that it was my way of staying connected to Bret, and I felt like I would want that forever.
It turns out that I didn’t want that.
I wanted to thrive and live while I still could, and as soon as I was clear on that, then that’s exactly what I did.
This doesn’t mean I have forgotten him – I could never.
It just means that my grief is in the rearview; my future, straight ahead.
And with each passing day, my scars fade even more.
About Layla Beth Munk
Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.
Her blog can be found at laylabethmunk.medium.com and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.