Why must we suffer?

How many times have we heard people ask “Why do we, as Christians, still have to suffer in this life?”  Doubtless, many of us have voiced that question, especially if our spouses were sick before dying.  I myself have asked God “Why?  Why did Tommy have to suffer with cancer and the agony of all that goes with it?”  I must have asked God that question so many times, it’s a wonder that He continues to stay so patient with me!  Even now, almost 2 years on this journey, I still find myself asking why I’m still in this valley that has been my path since his diagnosis in 2021.

My son was just 3 at the time.  COVID had caused Tommy to be laid off in 2019, after just 2 weeks at his new job.  He ended up riding the unemployment train as long as it lasted, which was quite a while.  With the additional funds because of the pandemic, we were living easy.  Neither of us worked that year and into the next.  It wasn’t until early November 2021 that I finally went back to working again.  That’s when everything started to fall apart.  He had a heart attack on Thanksgiving Day, on the way to my folks place, an hour and half outside of Dallas.  By the time we finally reached Parkland Hospital, he was barely rousable.  He had 2 stints put in and was released a week later.  Less than a week after that, severe pain in his lower lung/upper abdominal area sent him back to the ER, and a pulmony embolism was found, along with a lump that hadn’t been there 2 years prior when he’d had kidney stones.  The biopsy revealed our worst fears, it was cancer, they said stage 1 and thought it had orginated in his stomach.  He proceeded to do 12 rounds of chemo.  Turns out it was pancreatic, and 9 months later when they did the Whipple procedure, it was stage 3, spreading into his lymph nodes.  The amount of suffering he endured during his 2 year and 9 month battle with cancer made me long for God to return and take us all home with Him.  Even at times made me beg God to “just take him home already and put him out of his misery.”  He suffered so much that his death was a welcome victory over the agony of it all.

So why?  Why, as Christians, do we have to suffer?  After all, God is all-powerful.  He could have decided that when we are saved, we no longer have to suffer as others do.  Yet in His infinite wisdom, He said the opposite.  In John 16:33, Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world!” (NIV)  Jesus knew that it was part of God’s plan for this world to allow sin to reign.  He knew that the effects of that would involve suffering for every human who lived.  Some more than others.  He already knew that as believers, we would STILL suffer the effects of sin until we finally die.  So, why does He allow us to continue to suffer?  Yes, the effects of sin continue until Jesus returns, but He’s shown me a few other reasons lately that I’d like to share with you.

One reason why God allows us to suffer is because He wants us to draw closer to Him in a way that we cannot when life is good and times are happy.  You see, grief is a sacred holy passage way to the heart of God.  When we grieve and seek His prescense, He is such a loving, gentle Father.  He puts His arms around us and draws us in even closer to His heart, understanding our pain perfectly and loving us through it all.  He gives us strength to keep moving forward, despite it all.  He empowers us to find our voices and our place in this world that can seem so empty after losing our spouses.  He understands the depth of our pain, after all, He designed marriage to be a small representation of the love between Him and His creation.  He carries us when we’re too weak to even stand.  He provides for our every need and cares about what we care about, even hearing the smallest prayer we send up.  Our relationship with God, as we keep turning to Him, will only deepen in the valley.  It’s here that He allows us to slow down and grieve, becauses He knows how much we need it.  It’s here that He shows us the depth and width of His great compassion and mercy.  The valley is where He shows us His heart and how much He really loves us.  He reveals Himself to us in a way that we couldn’t appreciate without the suffering that put us in that valley.

A more simple reason why we continue to suffer in this lifetime is this.  How do we know what joy is without pain?  One cannot occur without the other.  If life was all peaches and roses, we’d never know what pain and suffering were, and we may think that would be good, but it would just become, well, ordinary.  The hard times in life show us what we have in our lives that brings us TRUE joy!  Our sorrow reveals our joy!  While I long for Heaven and the end of my suffering, I know that losing Tommy showed me what was most important in my life, and that’s a lesson that joy can’t teach as effectively.

But the third, perhaps deeper reason that God has shown me is that Godly grief leads to a desire for holiness.  My suffering, my grief, as big as it seems to be at times, is only a fraction of what God feels about my sin.  Sin caused God so much pain that He sent Jesus into this world to die for us all.  And not an easy death either.  A horrible, agonizing death that we can’t even imagine.  Jesus knew from the start how horific it would be, He knew what He was in for.  Luke 22 tells us how He felt about it too.  Jesus begged His Father “if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done.”  In verse 44, it talks about the amount of stress Jesus was feeling before His crucifixion, in anticipation. “His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.”  His suffering was about to be literally the worst possible death known to man.  My sin, our sin, did that to Him.  Reflecting on that aspect alone, it’s made me realize that I don’t ever want to cause Him any more pain ever again.  It makes me desire to live a holy life, pleasing to Him, so that my sin doesn’t hurt Him again.  I don’t want to be seperated from Him by my sin again (Isaiah 59:2).  I don’t want Him to have to hide His face from me because He sees my sin and can’t look upon it.  I want to keep being close to Him, so I want to live my life as sinless as possible.  I desire holiness so that my sin no longer causes His sorrow.

I would never wish this pain on anyone else.  I don’t want to keep suffering until I die.  But in a small way, I’m grateful for it.  These reasons are partly why I thank God for bringing me down this broken road.  It may not be easy or fun, but it has given me insight into God’s mind and how He intends to use my pain for His purposes.  It allows me to keep things in perspective and not allow my suffering to overwhelm me anymore.  It shows me His true love for me and for the world, and gives me more compassion for others who are suffering.

Third Day sings a song called “Mountain of God” and I’m going to close with the lyrics, as they were the inspiration for my post.  I hope they help you, too!

And as I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me