It has been an interesting journey, to say the least, over the last two years as I’ve been learning how to truly walk with God in my daily life as a widow, a mom, and a leader.  It hasn’t been a bad thing, to really figure out how to make God the center of my life, to learn to rely on Him fully, and to pu{t Him first in everything that I do.  It’s just meant a lot of learning, and it’s been a little frustrating at times, because my human self wants things NOW!  I don’t like to wait, and that’s what God has had me doing for 2 years now.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve been learning is how to “let go and let God.”  See, I’m a control freak.  I like to be in control of things, my life, my emotions (yeah, still learning that one), my son, my animals.  Everything.  I don’t ever want to let go of the steering wheel and let anyone else drive, much less God!  It has been a constant battle with myself to stop trying to MAKE things happen, and to wait, sometimes impatiently, on God to make things happen in His timing.  But in that surrender, I have found SO much peace!  Instead of allowing the anxiety to rule my mind, I give it to God, I surrender every situation to Him and His will.  That surrender is SO freeing!  My mind isn’t racing with the same negative thoughts when I’m constantly praying and giving it to God!  He replaces that anxiety with His peace, security, and calm!  And you know what?  I really like NOT being constantly stressed about my life!  It’s very comforting to me to to be able to rest in the arms of God and allow Him to take control and guide me.

This past week, there were a few days I couldn’t get Tristan to school because I didn’t have any gas in my car.  I prayed, I asked God to provide.  He didn’t.  Old me would have gotten upset and been angry about it.  I would have sulked and pouted.  I didn’t do that this week.  Instead, I decided that if God didn’t provide, He must have a reason why He didn’t want me to get Tristan to school.  I couldn’t tell you what that reason is, but I don’t need to know!  I just need to be faithful in trusting Him that He does have a reason, because I know His character and Who He is, so I allow Him to guide my steps.  It’s not gonna go the way I want all the time, or even most of the time, but that’s ok!  His plan is always better anyway, isn’t it?

Jeremiah 29:11 has been the verse I have repeated over and over to myself since Tommy died.  I think it’s because learning to allow God to be in control instead of me is a daily deliberate decision.  Some days its an every minute of the day type of decision!  I need the reminder that He has good plans for me, to prosper me and give me hope for my future so that I don’t give up when it gets hard.  And it has truly been a blessing, to remember that He DOES still have a plan for my life.  The surrender is truly beautiful, sisters, when we’re surrendering to the One who created it ALL!!  After all, His plan for us all is good!  To give us HOPE and a FUTURE!  That’s what I desire the most for this lifetime.  I want what God wants for me!  I know that the path will still be rocky from time to time.  I know there will be more times of grief ahead.  I also know He will guide me thru that, in the same way He is guiding me now.

He is showing me little glimpses of my future, especially in the last 6 months.  He’s showing me pieces of what He has planned for me, and He has already blown my mind with what He has in store!  I can’t wait to get there already!  He keeps on telling me that He’s gonna show me just how BIG He really is, and I’m excited to see that and experience His plans for me.  And He’s got great plans for you too!

Over the next month, I encourage you to daily surrender to God.  Ask Him what He wants you to surrender to Him, and then do it in obedience to Him.  Then sit back and wait on Him to fulfill His promises and do what He says He’s going to do.  Watch and see the GOODNESS of God and the plans He has for you!

I leave you with the song “Firm Foundation” by Cody Carnes.

“I’ve still got joy in chaos.  I’ve got a peace that makes no sense.  So I won’t be going under.  I’m not held by my own strength.  Cause I’ve built my life on Jesus.  He’s never let me down.  He’s faithful in every season.  So why would He fail now.  HE WON’T!!!”

Sara Rupp

Sara is a mom, an animal lover, an entrepreneur and a servant of The Most High King. She and her son Tristan live in Dallas with their two cats, Smaug and Alley. Sara and her late husband Tommy grew up together as kids, and always felt something pulling them together, but God chose to wait to bring them together until a little later in life. They married on Valentines Day in 2015. Tristan completed their family in 2018 and they were thrilled that God gave them a son. In 2021, Tommy had a heart attack and subsequent pulmonary embolism, which lead to the discovery of a tumor in his pancreas that was confirmed to be cancer thru a biopsy. He fought for 2 years and 8 months, thru 12 rounds of chemo and a brutal Whipple procedure, before God called him home to Heaven. The last 8 months of his life, on hospice, were some of the best of their marriage, and Sara is thankful for the precious memories made in that time. Since then, God has been Sara's strength, her Firm Foothold. He has become a husband to her and a father to her son. God has provided for them, every step of the way, sometimes miraculously! Now He is guiding her into ministry with other widows, this blog being one aspect of what He wants her doing to encourage others with what He shares with her. He keeps showing her what He has planned for her and Sara is excited to be on this path now, despite the pain, the hurt, the sorrow, it is all for the glory of God! She is also very active in her church, often volunteering for different activities, and singing in the choir as often as possible! She is ready to share with other widows what God continues to reveal to her about just HOW BIG He truly is!

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