Yes. A death cafe. Seriously!
After losing my husband, father and brothers, I have become a death guru.
So why a death cafe?
The answer is simple. It is because I am a grief maestro that I am perfectly aligned to host.
The more pertinent question is why.
So, here’s my thinking:
I have lost the pillars that held me up and loved me unconditionally. Since, I have been searching to make sense of all this tragedy and I honestly still don’t know the reason & doubt that I ever shall.
What I do know is that I must find a way to honour these men.
Initially I set out to help widows move forward with their lives. I became a coach so I would have more skills to offer. I quickly realized that grief is not limited to widows and given my expertise as a grieving daughter, sister and best friend, I evolved to include a larger community.
Still, I can’t stop noticing that we, the bereaved, are on Facebook and Instagram and other social platforms because we need to talk about our loved ones, honour milestones and reach out during emotional ups and downs.
The problem is we are talking to strangers – not to our loved ones and friends.
This is because we understand that sharing our memories is no longer accepted. We have been told to ‘move on’. We don’t want to ‘burden’ others with our grief.
I suggest there is an alternative. Let’s change the vantage point. Instead of expecting the bereaved to ‘get over it’ and trying to cancel us, why don’t we educate society about death?
Here’s a little secret. We will all experience the death of a loved one in our lifetime – so, let’s talk about it!!!
Clearly there is much interest in death.
I am joining in the footsteps of more than 12,290 prior Death Cafes facilitated in 76 countries around the world. Here we talk about death with no agenda or bias.
Our goal? To normalize the conversation.
Talking about death is the first step to shatter the taboo about death.
I hope you will join me on the journey (& in a death cafe).
Next?
Ask me about step #2
Forever evolving
Susan
***Have you heard about Hope for Widows Foundation’s annual virtual Widows of Hope 5K on May 15 and 16? Registration is now open! For details, FAQ’s and to register/support go to: https://racewire.com/register.php?id=12122
Anyone can join! Whether you are a widow, widower, or a friend/family member showing support, or walking in the loss of another family member, everyone is welcomed to participate. The deadline to register is May 15, 2021. The proceeds will directly support widows directly through their annual financial Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and our Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program.***
About Susan Kendal
On May 20, 2014, Susan’s world came crashing down. Her 54-year old husband passed unexpectedly of a heart attack. The years since have been a whirlwind of emotion, trauma & joy (yes, she said joy, thanks mostly to the birth of her grandchildren).
Over the next 5 years, Susan experienced additional heartache following the death of her dad & both of her brothers. She knew her only way to make sense of all her grief was to find a way to use her experiences to help others.
Now, armed with a grief educators certificate from David Kessler, a coaching certificate, her learned experience and inspiration she has set out to make a difference in the lives of the bereaved.
Living with loss is a lifetime challenge. When someone dies, friends and family rally around the bereaved for a short time. Soon after, the conversation changes from one of comfort to one of anticipation and judgement. The bereaved are given a time frame to “get over it”. This antiquated notion leaves no option but to grieve in silence. Often silence can become isolating and cause mental and physical health issues.
Susan educates society on how to help those who are grieving by using her voice to speak up and share her learned and lived knowledge.
Susan encourages collaboration and dialogue so please reach out to her at evolve beyond grief on her website, Facebook and Instagram.