“We are our stories. We compress year of experience, views and emotions into a few compact narratives that we convey to others and tell ourselves. That has always been true.”

Dan Pink, “A Whole New Mind”


If you are a couple of months into your loss, when someone asks you what happened to your partner, you most probably have “your story” down pat. In fact, you have come to know the words and emotions so well that you may even recite it by rote.

And even though you are uncomfortable in this place in which you have been thrust, it’s possible to become comfortable in your uncomfortableness, for at least you know what to expect.

Moving forward into the unknown can be scary. In turn, this feeling can keep you stuck or frozen because you’re fearful of inviting any new turbulence (good or bad) into your life. Remain aware of this tendency so that you don’t begin to live your story INSTEAD of living your life.

Remember that there is an upside to “scary.” It can also be exciting and exhilarating!