Kay Redfield Jamison, in Nothing Was the Same, penned the following thought.

I realized that it was not that I didn’t want to go on without him.

I did. It was just that I didn’t know why I wanted to go on.

Who has had similar thoughts or still feels this way?

This conundrum of wanting to go on and live yet not knowing how or why is at the essence of mourning.

Moving through grief is a discovery process where you can, among other things:

  1. figure out the new you
  2. unearth new reasons for living
  3. seek and find joy in little moments vs. always waiting for the big moments and
  4. learn to appreciate what you do have vs. bemoaning what is missing


Life is actually lived in the little moments that flash by so quickly. And it is these moments that often become our most cherished memories. Even though you may be distraught, life is still continuing around you and those moments are happening. If you can pick your head up and look around, you might be able to glimpse them going by and find a moment of light in your darkness, such as the kindness of others, a child’s laughter, or the beauty of the sunrise and sunset.