Morning thoughts

I woke up this morning and stretched my hand to the other side of the bed to only feel the mattress instead of you.  And so the day begins again with the heartache of realizing you are no longer lying beside me.  Each day I wake up to that same heartbreaking realization before I get out of bed and start my day.  It is a different way of life then I was used to with you. When I woke up with you there was usually laughter and banter.  Now each day starts with a sadness and the beginning of a new struggle to find my way in this new life.  Each day I take a little bit of you with me.  The encouragement you gave me during the tough times, the way you always told me to live in the moment and enjoy because life was too short.  As I make my way through the day I try to remember the way you lived and how you would want me to live.  And that is with laughter and adventure.  As I start each one of these new adventures I take you with me in my heart always


Last night I dreamed that I was sitting on an empty road waiting for a couple of friends.  While I was sitting there I was thinking of you and how sad I am without you.  You came and talked to me and told me how I needed to start enjoying life again.  So today I will take another step forward and work on really enjoying one thing each day.  Today I am going to take a walk in the sun and sit outside and enjoy the sunshine until it sets this evening.  Something you always loved to do.  I will go to sleep remembering how the sun felt on my face and try to sleep peacefully knowing you are always in my heart.




Eileen Clarke is an average everyday woman whose life was torn apart on November 2, 2017 with the sudden loss of her husband Patrick (Pat).

She is now in the process of taking a journey that she never asked for but must take nonetheless. Her hope that in sharing her journey she may be able to help other woman as she embarks on her own unplanned journey of grief and rebuilding.