The death of anyone you can’t imagine living without teaches you an astronomical amount about life, love, and loss.
Prior to experiencing the passing of my husband, I couldn’t fathom just how much the pain of that loss would teach me about future love. At the time, the concept of loving anything or anyone again seemed utterly impossible. It wasn’t in my mental capacity.
However, it didn’t take long before the signs and messages from Luke came pouring in, and I was quickly and abruptly reminded just how capable of love I still was…and still am. After the third time hearing our song in a restaurant one day, suddenly it hit me like a lightening bolt. It wasn’t just grief and sadness I was feeling…it was love. It was pure love. It was so much more love than I’d ever felt before. Losing Luke taught me more about true love than any past experience, romance novel, or ex-boyfriend ever could.
I knew my heart was broken, but what I didn’t know was how much love there still was left to give in there. It’s almost as if when Luke died, I inherited the love he still had left to give, too. I feel this deep in my soul, and it comes out so clearly to me. Because now, I don’t love just as “Jayme” would’ve loved before. I love as deep and passionate as Luke and Jayme combined. There is so much power in knowing you hold the loving capacity of both you and your dead person, and not only power, but real healing. I choose to love for the both of us, and I feel a remarkable amount of honor in doing so.
Broken hearts love more. They love harder, easier, deeper, and unconditionally. Broken hearts know how easy and fast they can break, and just how important it is to fill your heart with as much love as possible before that happens. Grief doesn’t always look like a shattered heart and crying eyes. Sometimes grief is taking the broken pieces and glueing them back together with even more love, compassion, and kindness than they held before. Grief is love.
This road is not easy. It’s dark and lonely, and it’s bright and calm. It’s a maze and a straight path all at once. It will never make sense, but it will always be filled with love. Whether it’s the love of your dead person, your family, friends, Chapter 2, or even just yourself, I can promise you there will always be love. I can also promise you that because you have a broken heart, you really can’t love exactly the way you did before. You love differently, as you truly should.
Be kind to your heart today, and keep loving. It’s always worth it.