Suggestion: If you have people that count on you on a daily basis, try and get your shit together enough to be there for them at least briefly each day.
If those people are your children, they need you. They’ve already lost one parent, they can’t lose you too.
Try and make those moments longer when you feel up to it. Keep their schedule as typical as possible, children/humans find peace with structure. For kids, school may be the only thing that feels “normal” to them. School may be a huge trigger for them. Honor their feelings. Listen.
Sadly, the world around them will keep churning on and they will still need to be productive adults at some point. Give them skills.
Let them see you mourn, but also let them see you being your bad ass self.
Let them see you get your shit done, even though you are sad.
Let them see you fail because it’s hard.
Let them see you succeed even though it’s hard. It’s all hard, but we can do hard things.
You are a bad ass widow, or you are at least pretending to be in small moments.
Pretty soon those moments will become longer periods of time of bad assery. Be a bad ass, you’ve earned it, your people deserve to see you as a bad ass.
They also deserve to be bad ass.
Bad shit happens to great people.
They will learn that lesson early and will be wise because of it.
Your people will become more empowered, empathetic and kind because they’ve been through the greatest tragedy. Honor them, honor yourself, honor your late partner all while navigating your new normal like a bad ass.
