Our son has his first day of preschool next week, and hes excited, but I’m a little nervous. I’m nervous about my kid being the one with a dead dad. That’s not how we feel about him, as hes very much alive and incorporated into our daily lives and we are in continued intelligent conversation with him in our home. But not a lot of people understand that, because not a lot of people have to. And to be honest, our kids are still learning what that means even. When we went to meet his teachers last week, I had to pull them aside and explain the dead dad thing to them. I had to warn them that he might bring pictures of daddy to school with him, or talk about how sometimes we see him and sometimes we don’t but we always feel him, and that our family pictures incorporate a photo of daddy because daddy doesn’t have a body anymore, and I asked them to still include daddy in arts and crafts projects and any other expressions that involve a daddy. That’s something that’s probably a bit unusual for them to think about, but its our reality.
One of the commitments I have to myself (and to my husband) is to live authentically and utilize that to bring awareness to death and grief and the world of spirit and how spirit is an integral part of our human experiences, so in order to do that, I have to have open conversations that sometimes feel weird or uncomfortable to people. I wouldn’t be keeping my commitment if I didn’t bravely approach the preschool teacher and say “hey, my husband is in spirit but hes still very much alive and its important to me and our children that he has space to be honoured as such.” Thankfully my sons teacher was pretty open minded and kind, which was a blessing for the first time of having to have that conversation. I’m grateful for this, but I know it’s a grace that was given to me to help me transition into the world with that conversation often at the forefront. I know that hard conversations are likely to come along the way. People may ignore me or call me crazy, skeptics may challenge me and insensitive people may hurt me with their words sometimes. But I also know that I have to have these conversations for all of the people who can’t, and I know that a part of my journey this time on earth is to crash down the door between us and death, to expand the collective awareness on what death really is and how love truly and deeply transcends it.
The collective is growing, and changing, and ebbing and flowing within these types of conversations and I will bravely put my voice out there to help strengthen a new and integrative narrative. Death is not the end, and in fact is nothing to even be feared (I know, blasphemy). We are on this earth for a time, to truly experience humanness for the evolution of our spirit and the continued expansion of the collective. When you are able to step into this space and truly recognize that we are spirit having a human experience, Your. Whole. World. Shifts. Suddenly those brave conversations don’t feel as scary because they become real and tangible as you realize we truly are one with those we feel we’ve lost, and therefore that you truly haven’t actually lost them. Its an illusion of the human experience to believe we’ve lost them. You cannot lose something that you are so truly integrated with. The threads of love that connect us to our loved ones are ever present, and the weight of being a human sometimes makes us forget this divine truth. I encourage you to step into this expansive space and remember what you’re truly made of, of spirit, the same type of energy that your loved ones are. They just don’t have a body weighing them down anymore. That’s quite literally the only difference between you and them.