Opening a New Chapter
Sitting and reflecting on how my life has changed in 1095 days. All of the hopes, dreams, and goals we shared together each day is becoming a distant memory. I can’t even smell you on your plaid robe anymore. I walk into what was your room, and see your recliner filled with clothes, and blankets as it is now just a room to store things in. I look on your bookshelf and see your Bible collections, I touch them hoping to feel you. I even looked at your dvd’s and said I was going to watch Spider-Man, superman, and the avenger’s to see why you watched them over and over again. I even removed some of our pictures that was all over the house. I took a few to my office so you would be with me there.
Opening a new chapter is never easy, but I realize that I must learn to live, and love again. I must learn to take down these walls, I must learn to let go of this pain, I must let go!! I fear that if I don’t I will miss out on life. I still have dreams and goals that we planned, dreams and goals of my own. Opening a new chapter does not have to be a bad thing; it can actually be a good thing. Opening a new chapter does not mean forgetting you, it just means learning to adjust and adapt to my new normal. Never forgetting you or the love that we shared, the memories that we made. It just means I can no longer take this pain of missing you.
I can no longer wish that I have been dreaming for the last 1095 days. Opening a new chapter means that I will not settle for anything less then what you did when you were alive. I know that you would only want the best for me. Opening a new chapter does not mean I will not think of you everyday, opening a new chapter does not mean that the tears will stop falling like they are at this very moment.
Opening a new chapter does not mean that if given the opportunity I would live our marriage over and over again. Opening a new chapter does not mean I will pack all of you in a box. Opening a new chapter does not mean my heart will ever be mended again. Opening a new chapter means that I will try to open my heart and love again only for the right person. Opening a new chapter means that I will not rush into anything, it simply means I will wait patiently on God to see what he has for my life moving forward.
Opening a New Chapter can be a good thing, it means trying to get my life back, my identity back. So after 1095 days I am going to try my best to walk into a new chapter in my life be it as a widow, in a relationship, or marriage. I will start a new chapter building it and making the best I can in this lifetime.
I am ready to embrace this new chapter wherever it may lead me. To the readers we all share the same pain in many different ways, when the time comes open your new chapter, because life changes in seconds that we can never get back.
Walk in your New Chapter
About Jamie Foster
Jamie Foster resides in Daphne, Alabama with her daughter and two grand puppies. On January 10, 2019 at 10:30 p.m. her life was shattered as the man that God kept for her suffered a heart attack in his sleep. A fairytale that began so beautifully just three years prior ended in tragedy. She made a statement two years before she started dating Rev. Kenneth Foster, as he preached a sermon at her church. She said to a friend, “I am going to marry Rev. Foster one day, and make him a very good wife”. Two years later, after about 4 dinner dates, Kenneth told her; that God showed him that she was his wife. They married a few months later on November 28, 2015. In three years, they lived out their wedding vows richer, poorer, sickness, health, and till death do us part.
She never imagined that she could feel so much pain in her entire body!! The love of her life the man she prayed for is now gone. She immediately began to question everything she knew, everything she believed in.
After Kenneth’s death, she had nothing else to hold on to but the Faith that they talked about, the Faith that he preached about. The road is a difficult one, but she pushes forward. On this journey, she has come in contact with women all over the world who share the same grief and the same pain that she does. She started to find comfort and joy in knowing that others understood her heartache and pain.
In 2021, she left her full-time job to focus on her Mental Health. She became the CEO of Foster & Foster H.R. Solutions, an Independent Insurance Agent, a blogger of Foundation of Truths, a Motivational Speaker, and she is penning the pages to a book that is long overdue.
Jamie always knew that her gift, was her powerful voice and she is walking in her purpose. It is to help encourage, motivate, inspire, and lift up all of her fellow sisters as we are all on this journey together. She lives each day no matter how hard, by the words of Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans he has for me”.
I totally love this! I lost my husband Sept. 3 2021 and that was the day I literally lost my whole world. We have 4 adult kids together and if it wasn’t for them I honestly don’t know what I would of done. My husband and I were together for almost 30 years. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry several times a day and I myself are so tired of crying. I will never forget my Bob and I am trying to be ok alone and without him. I still can’t get myself to go through his belongings cause it is so hard. But we are moving to a different house in the next couple months so I am going to have to unless I want to take his stuff with me which he has a lot of lol. Well I wish you luck in all your future endeavors and sending you many blessings. Loved reading your story and thank you for sharing