I feel like I have run out of words to describe my feelings. I feel like I have been screaming in my loudest voice for 28 488.8915 hours and I have run out of words to describe just how I feel. It has been 28 488.8915 hours, and the world, my family, friends, church family, and my daughter thinks that I should be over my feelings by now. I have gone through the stages of grief, I have journaled my feeling in several journals, I have laid on the sofa and shared my feelings more than someone in a Lifetime movie. I have cried until I have permanent bags under my eyes, and I apply makeup every day for the first time in my life.
It has been 28 488.8915 hours, and I feel the same way I did in that 1st hour I became a widow. I have cried, I have prayed, I have asked God why? It has been 28 488.8915 hours and I am just angry! How many hours is it going to take for all of these emotions to go away? How many hours is it going to take for me to feel like myself again? How many hours is it going to take for me to get some of my joy back? How many hours is it going to take for me to stop wearing this mask to hide how I truly feel? I know that some of you reading this can relate to some of these feelings.
We all have our good and bad days; sometimes more bad than good. We carry these feelings and we do all we can to make it through, the hours since the passing of our husband’s. Just remember to do like I do I scream if you need to scream, cry if you need to cry, I let it out because it is healthy to get it out, it is healthy to talk about it, it is healthy to write about it. Live each day embracing the memories that are left behind, and remember to release those feelings that have been built up for hours.
Mark your calendars! Hope For Widows Foundation’s annual virtual event has returned on Saturday, April 2, and Sunday, April 3, 2022! Anyone can join! Whether you are a widow, widower, or a friend/family member showing support or walking in the loss of another family member, everyone is welcome to participate. The proceeds will directly support widows through the annual financial Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program. Do you have or know a business that would like to sponsor? That’s an option too! To register and frequently asked questions- please go here: widowsofhope5k.racewire.com
About Jamie Foster
Jamie Foster resides in Daphne, Alabama with her daughter and two grand puppies. On January 10, 2019 at 10:30 p.m. her life was shattered as the man that God kept for her suffered a heart attack in his sleep. A fairytale that began so beautifully just three years prior ended in tragedy. She made a statement two years before she started dating Rev. Kenneth Foster, as he preached a sermon at her church. She said to a friend, “I am going to marry Rev. Foster one day, and make him a very good wife”. Two years later, after about 4 dinner dates, Kenneth told her; that God showed him that she was his wife. They married a few months later on November 28, 2015. In three years, they lived out their wedding vows richer, poorer, sickness, health, and till death do us part.
She never imagined that she could feel so much pain in her entire body!! The love of her life the man she prayed for is now gone. She immediately began to question everything she knew, everything she believed in.
After Kenneth’s death, she had nothing else to hold on to but the Faith that they talked about, the Faith that he preached about. The road is a difficult one, but she pushes forward. On this journey, she has come in contact with women all over the world who share the same grief and the same pain that she does. She started to find comfort and joy in knowing that others understood her heartache and pain.
In 2021, she left her full-time job to focus on her Mental Health. She became the CEO of Foster & Foster H.R. Solutions, an Independent Insurance Agent, a blogger of Foundation of Truths, a Motivational Speaker, and she is penning the pages to a book that is long overdue.
Jamie always knew that her gift, was her powerful voice and she is walking in her purpose. It is to help encourage, motivate, inspire, and lift up all of her fellow sisters as we are all on this journey together. She lives each day no matter how hard, by the words of Jeremiah 29:11 “I know the plans he has for me”.
I lost my husband of, almost 50 years, on January 8, 2023. He had Covid, and was diagnosed the day after my 7 day bout with it ended. We lost our middle son (age 44) to Covid in June 2021. Our older son and his wife, don’t say it to me, but can’t understand why I still mourn. they live 10 hours from me. Our youngest son and his family live 15 minutes from me. They, also, mourn him. they are a Godsend to me. I had a bad fall on May 22nd. Spent a week in hospital and 3½ weeks in rehab. I’ve seen my doctor twice. She does not have any faith that I will recover enough to drive again. I’ve finally got the equipment for the exercises I need for leg strengthening. I get 2 in home rehab sessions a week, now I can do them daily, or twice daily.
I’ve been saving for an extra payment on a new vehicle, that is easier to get in and out of. My goal for the vehicle is February, or March of 2025. I have time to get my strength back.
I’m 75 years old, my neighbor, and good friend is 86 and still drives. she needs a cane. and has been a widow for 9 years.
sorry, I have rambled. I’m going to have to look for your book
Pat Bennett