In my last Hope For Widows blog, I focused on not forgetting about life’s little “wins”.  I stand by that wholeheartedly, but want to point out that life is not always about “winning.”

The Almighty knows that I’ve personally, gone through quite a “losing streak” or a dozen in my time here in this realm of existence. We all have; no human has a 100% perfect life from start to finish.

We all face struggle and strife and in fact are generally taught that downs, as much as ups, are a huge part of life.

Ask ANY widow/er and I DO MEAN ANY, and we will usually be able to answer about all of the problems, struggles, and losses that go along with the death of a spouse.

I have genuinely lost friends because of my being “too negative” while neck deep in my grief.

Here’s a little newsflash : Toxic Positivity is just as bad as chronic negativity, if not more so.

You ARE allowed to feel what you feel, and you owe no one an apology or explanation.

Social Media has done quite a number on making folks feel inferior to others, because it’s so very easy to portray a life of perfection, online.

This has caused far too many people to feel like life is just one huge competition, and that we MUST be overachieving at any and all times.

Yeah, nope.

Wouldn’t it be so much better if we could all just be real and authentic with one another without feeling like we are in competition? Or that we might offend someone by not being positive ALL.THE.TIME?

Being perpetual “winners” doesn’t make us better than others.

Oh, by all means, acknowledge your wins. Acknowledge your miracles. Definitely do that!

But life isn’t a competition.

And as a widow, there will be times that you are bound to feel like life is kicking you to the proverbial curb.

It’s okay to sit with your own sadness, anger or whatever other emotion you may be feeling.

It’s not like you’re going to get a blue ribbon for holding back your tears!

We don’t have to win all the time, in fact it’s just not feasible to expect as much.

If all you did was breathe today, then let that be enough.

Let’s face it, in grief, just breathing is absolutely a win.

** Mark your calendars! Hope For Widows Foundation’s annual virtual event has returned on Saturday, April 2, and Sunday, April 3, 2022! Anyone can join! Whether you are a widow, widower, or a friend/family member showing support or walking in the loss of another family member, everyone is welcome to participate. The proceeds will directly support widows through the annual financial Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program. Do you have or know a business that would like to sponsor? That’s an option too! To register and frequently asked questions- please go here:


Layla Beth Munk is a blogger & author who was thrust into this widowhood journey abruptly and tragically on February 11, 2018. Her husband of 12 years had ended his pain once and for all. She soon made the decision that she would not let his final decision define the rest of her life or their daughter’s life, so with her sense of humor at the helm, she started writing about her newfound station in life. Grief waves still get to her, and probably always will, but with the help of her fellow widows as well as friends and family, she has been able to realize her dream of becoming a published author! Layla is so grateful to Hope For Widows Foundation for providing this level of support to her, and so many others! Layla has two amazing children, one who is grown and one who is almost grown. She lives in eastern Oregon and has a wellness & beauty background. Layla enjoys writing poetry, watching anime, and homeschooling her daughter.

Her blog can be found at and her debut novella, 24 Hours in Vegas, is available on Amazon.