This week begins what I refer to as our six weeks of grief hell. 


Sunday is Mother’s Day.

Friday is Steven’s 18th birthday.

Thursday the 19th is Steven’s high school graduation.

Tuesday June 7th would have been Jared’s 45th birthday.

Sunday June 12th is my 50th birthday. 

Sunday June 19th is Father’s Day. 


So many milestones. So many changes. Milestones and changes Jared will not be here to see.  


Each event to celebrate Steven’s birthday and graduation will only serve as a reminder that Jared can’t be here to celebrate with us. 


So many days, so many reminders that Jared isn’t here. More milestones, more events that Steven and I will celebrate without Jared.  And celebrate we will.  Because even though Jared is gone, life and its accomplishments deserve to be celebrated.


I’m looking forward to celebrating Steven’s birthday and all his accomplishments. I’m looking forward to celebrating the holidays. I’m looking forward to celebrating minexand Jared’s birthdays. I’m just not looking forward to the grief that is sure to come. 


I will do my best to hold space for both the joy and the sorrow. The bitter and the sweet. 


I will survive the next six weeks by enjoying every moment with Steven before he heads off to college. By being grateful that I get to be present for these milestones. By feeling Jared’s presence as we laugh and enjoy these special occasions.

I will survive the next six weeks of grief hell by living with the love Jared left behind.  And feeling that love especially when the grief is hardest. 




**Have you heard about Hope for Widows Foundation’s annual Restoring Hope & Peace Grant program? It was established by the organization in 2019 to help widowed women offset financial challenges as they navigate their healing journey. You can find out details, timeline and the history of this grant here: All widows based in U.S. and Canada are encouraged to apply. Applications open on National Widow’s Day, May 3, 2022. For additional questions feel free to email **





Carla always knew she would be a widow but didn’t have any idea how it would actually feel. When Carla met her late husband Jared, he was waiting for a lung transplant due to Cystic Fibrosis, a chronic disease affecting the lungs and pancreas. So she knew that most likely someday she would say goodbye to her husband. But she never dreamt it would be exactly one week before their 14th wedding anniversary. In August 2014, Jared was diagnosed with a rare bacterial infection in his transplanted lung and was expected to survive at least 6 months if not a year. Instead, he died just 6 weeks later. And in the blink of an eye, Carla became a solo mom to their 10-year-old son. And even though her life was forever marked before and after, she was determined to live life to the fullest because her husband would expect no less.

She founded Breathing for Jared, a Foundation to provide college scholarships to those suffering from lung disease in honor of her late husband. Became a supporter of the CF Foundation and Donate Life. And discovered that writing out her emotions and fears on her blog Transplant Wife and Widow helped her to process her grief

Carla recently remarried and is now blending a family with her new husband, bonus daughter, and son.