This week begins what I refer to as our six weeks of grief hell.
Sunday is Mother’s Day.
Friday is Steven’s 18th birthday.
Thursday the 19th is Steven’s high school graduation.
Tuesday June 7th would have been Jared’s 45th birthday.
Sunday June 12th is my 50th birthday.
Sunday June 19th is Father’s Day.
So many milestones. So many changes. Milestones and changes Jared will not be here to see.
Each event to celebrate Steven’s birthday and graduation will only serve as a reminder that Jared can’t be here to celebrate with us.
So many days, so many reminders that Jared isn’t here. More milestones, more events that Steven and I will celebrate without Jared. And celebrate we will. Because even though Jared is gone, life and its accomplishments deserve to be celebrated.
I’m looking forward to celebrating Steven’s birthday and all his accomplishments. I’m looking forward to celebrating the holidays. I’m looking forward to celebrating minexand Jared’s birthdays. I’m just not looking forward to the grief that is sure to come.
I will do my best to hold space for both the joy and the sorrow. The bitter and the sweet.
I will survive the next six weeks by enjoying every moment with Steven before he heads off to college. By being grateful that I get to be present for these milestones. By feeling Jared’s presence as we laugh and enjoy these special occasions.
I will survive the next six weeks of grief hell by living with the love Jared left behind. And feeling that love especially when the grief is hardest.
**Have you heard about Hope for Widows Foundation’s annual Restoring Hope & Peace Grant program? It was established by the organization in 2019 to help widowed women offset financial challenges as they navigate their healing journey. You can find out details, timeline and the history of this grant here: https://hopeforwidows.org/grant/ All widows based in U.S. and Canada are encouraged to apply. Applications open on National Widow’s Day, May 3, 2022. For additional questions feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org **