I decided to write this blog in honor of my husband Rev Kenneth Foster. Today he would have been 51 years old.
When two becomes one is something that we sat in the bed one night and created. We decided to do this together as we both were so passionate about marriage. After both knowing what a failed marriage looked like we vowed to show our children, our families, church members, and especially couples that we counseled before marriage and during the marriage what a happy successful godly marriage looked like.
I remember that night like it was yesterday Kenneth was playing with his iPad and we were watching Paternity Court. We started discussing the case as the husband had cheated on his wife and now was in court with his wife, and his mistress to see if he was or was not the father.
As we watched the case it was determined that he was the father, and his wife was heartbroken. We then said to one another he is too old for that and should be ashamed of himself. Kenneth then went into one of his Bible lessons, we discussed our marriage and how we vowed before God on November 28,2015; Iron Bowl Saturday to be faithful, love one another until death do us part. I then asked him what scripture is it that talks about two becoming one. He said Mark 10:8. The scripture reads, And the two will become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh.
As we laid in bed and discussed what we would talk about in the next counseling session for the couple that he was going to marry the next month. He wrote the words, “When Two Becomes One”. We went to bed with that thought. The next day we put our thoughts on paper for the look of the logo, a few weeks later the logo was designed. It was such an amazing feeling to see what we created come to life. The dream was to use the logo we created and market it for married couples, t shirts, wine glasses, mugs, and then a book. Those plans did not happen as his health started to decline. It seemed as if the more we prayed the more challenging this would become. When two becomes one is a powerful thing, we lived by those words we were one. People knew us everywhere we would go, or at least knew the Rev. On Sunday’s we could go to certain places for dinner and not pay for the meals because of who he was. We vowed to show love everywhere we would go even in Wal- Mart, he would be on aisle 3, and I would be on aisle 5. He would act as if we were at the house and say. “Baby do we have sugar at the house?” Most of the employees knew us so they would laugh.
I can remember on a few occasions when he was in the hospital with pneumonia due to him having mixed connective tissue disorder (it is a disease that is worse than lupus because it attacks all organs). The owner of Hungry Howie’s had salads delivered every day. It was truly a blessing to have someone show so much kindness. When two becomes one meant if the hospital stay was 2 weeks, I was at the hospital for two weeks. I would leave for work and return after work. When two becomes one meant that if he was in pain in the middle of the night, I was right by his side. When two becomes one was held true when we both were admitted to the hospital at the same time. I was in ICU I was in diabetic ketosis I had no idea that I was sick. He was asking the nurses about me, and I was asking about him. The nurses said, how long have y’all been married? When I said two years, they were shocked because they said we acted like we had been married for years. When two becomes one we battled that storm.
In 2017 my stepson was killed, that storm was larger. It was a battle this was truly heartbreaking. People say you are not supposed to have favorites, but Kenneth Jr. was my favorite. When two becomes one I had to be strong for my husband and watch him grieve the loss of his child. I had to pick out the clothing for Kenneth Jr. I truly thought I would not be strong enough to do it, I had no other choice because my husband was weak. I never would have imagined 2 1/2 years later; I would be picking out the final attire for my husband. I now know that he grieved silently, only sharing parts of his pain with me. When two becomes one we cried and prayed for strength. We put our Faith in God to see us through. When two becomes one I made sure that his final resting place was a good place. He loved Florida Gators, so his Head Stone is Florida Gators Blue. When two becomes one when I look at the logo that my husband and I designed often, and I shed tears and have some sense of happiness because it is something that we did together.
My better half is no longer by my side, When Two Becomes One is a part of our Love Story, my favorite story. God gave me the assignment of taking care of one of his servants, I would do it over and over again to have at least one day back. I now try to be a support system for widows in my church and try and support them in all my pain. This hurt is so real, so I try to encourage anyone that I can. When two becomes one no longer exist for many of us. On this journey I can only encourage myself and everyone who reads this; Embrace the moments and the memories that you have. No matter where life leads you; if you marry again or dating you will never forget the person who you became one with.