Spring is in the air! When we think of Spring, we are usually filled with restored hope in the optimistic promise life is renewed and fresh starts are possible. Tender green leaves and beautiful blossoms adorn the trees and bushes as the landscape before us transforms from the barren and dreary browns and greys to spectacular splashes of color and the air fills with the fragrance of fresh blooms.

Spring officially made its debut on March 19. I’ve been longing to bloom again for what seems like such a long time. Every year since my dear husband went home to Heaven, when spring comes, I think of myself like the butterfly emerging from the cocoon of darkness ready to step into the light and soar again. The longing inside me is reaching out to receive new life and renewed hope after a long winter of loss.

Have you been there? As widows we’ve had our emotions tied into a tangled mess as we struggled to sort out what our life is supposed to look like now that we are all alone. It takes time to get to the point where we know we must accept the fact our life will never be the same. It’s taken me so long, it seems, to adjust my thinking that always wanted to put my husband’s needs and desires ahead of what I might prefer. It’s been a struggle to try to determine where I want to live, how I want my home to look, what my priorities are, and even what I like and don’t like.

Life is like a piano,
White keys are happy moments,
And the black ones are the sad moments.
Both keys are played together
To give us the sweet music called life.
― Suzy Kassem

 

Life can change in a moment. Circumstances we never imagined and never wanted… happen. This changes and transforms the entire landscape of our life. As we enter the week of Palm Sunday that leads to the resurrection of Jesus, we can find a beautiful parallel in the life of Jesus, and a lesson to perhaps help us in our transition.

On Palm Sunday the people of Jerusalem and many of the Jews who traveled there to celebrate the Passover waved palms, sang praises, and danced with joy singing “Hosanna” and “Bring the victory!” to Jesus as He rode on a donkey colt through the gates of Jerusalem and up to the temple. They expected Jesus, the miracle worker and heir to the throne of David, to be their new King who would storm the palace and overturn the Roman occupation. They believed He came to return Israel to its former glory. They expected the King of the Jews to change their circumstances.

Jesus came as the suffering servant. He came to show us death precedes restoration. The purpose Jesus came to fulfill was the far greater need of their own souls and their destiny in eternity, not the temporary challenge in this earthly realm.

The Jews and many in the crowd that first Palm Sunday became so discouraged and upset when Jesus didn’t fulfill their expectations. In five short days they allowed this discouragement and dismay to boil into uncontrolled anger that had them screaming “Crucify Him” to Pilot when he asked them what to do with their King.

What might we have done if we lived at that time? In our humanity we are fickle and undisciplined. We’ve all faced hard times and prayed with great earnestness and faith asking God to help us. I prayed with all my might, believing with all I had in me, God would heal my husband. I wanted to be able to testify of God’s mighty power of deliverance to others. God didn’t answer my prayers like I hoped and prayed. Instead, He took my husband home to Heaven.

Just like the Jews who stood in that crowd crying “Crucify Him,” I had a choice to make. Do I get angry at God and blame God for taking my husband, or do I choose to turn my pain and disappointment over to Him and ask Him to help me? What do you choose?

It’s been a constant struggle since my husband is gone. So much happened I never expected. It’s been the hardest time of my life. In all this, I keep choosing to give it to God. It is a choice I make daily. It’s not easy. God keeps showing up and showing off as I learn to trust Him more.

This week God opened a door to allow me to put a deposit on an apartment I was hoping to get. I give Him all the glory. Apartments there do not open up very often and the landlord has a constant waiting list of people who want to get in. God made a way and gave me favor in her eyes and answered my prayer. This is a good place for me to transition to once again before I get a permanent place I can call home. I didn’t want to move again to a temporary place, but the place I am currently in is raising the rent yet again and it is too far beyond my means. God is providing for my needs and is ever faithful to keep me going.

But the wisdom from above is always pure, filled with peace, considerate and teachable. It is filled with love and never displays prejudice or hypocrisy in any form and it always bears the beautiful harvest of righteousness! Good seeds of wisdom’s fruit will be planted with peaceful acts by those who cherish making peace.
James 3: 17-18 TPT

God is teaching me to make Biblical declarations over my situation. Asking God why He allows certain things or questioning His ways of doing things is not trusting Him. It is me seeing things only from my limited perspective and my trying to control my life. God wants us to shift to a level of trust that believes His Word is life and truth. The passage from James 3 is powerful. I can proclaim this verse over my situation, and within a short time God gives clarity on what my next steps could be. God fills me with His perfect peace. This is the promise James 3: 17 offers us when we choose to seek wisdom from above.

In this new season of spring, I’m learning to better rely on the wisdom of God. He is the only One who sees the entire picture. He knows the things I don’t. He understands things I can’t see and has a plan He is unfolding in my life. When I choose to yield my life to Him, and seek to fulfill and achieve every plan and purpose He created me to do, I know He will provide for my needs and make clear to me what those plans and purposes are.

When death precedes restoration there is a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual death that needs to happen. I need to let the past go and be willing to let Jesus restore the things in my life God put in me to equip me to fulfill every plan and purpose He created me to do. I need to embrace the hope and courage I need to step forward in faith to accomplish these things. I keep my eyes ever on God and keep my heart hungry to show my gratitude to God as I keep pressing forward to live life fully by my service to Him.

Jesus came the first time to be the suffering servant, not display His power. Instead of building an earthly throne, He carried a cross and wore a crown of thorns. His glory was revealed as He was mocked, beaten, and suffered at the hands of evil men in our place and for our sins when He was completely innocent of any sin. He demonstrated His power in His humility.

He humbled Himself and became vulnerable, choosing to be revealed as a man and was obedient. He was a perfect example, even in His death—a criminal’s death by crucifixion!
Philippians 2: 8 TPT

That first Holy Week was a roller coaster that started with crowds filled with high expectations that plunged into dashed dreams that led to a gruesome death on a cross. The hope they sought can only be understood in the light of Jesus’ resurrection on the third day. Now we are all given the opportunity to choose Him as our King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Jesus came to save mankind. He came to save me, and He came to save you. Accepting His gift by receiving Him as our Lord and personal Savior gives us the hope for that eternal future God wants with every one of His beloved children.

Sometimes the season of deep grief might feel like it will never end. Rest in the truth it is a season… not the rest of your life. Just like the seasons of the year, winter does end, and spring always follows. We can’t rush it. Even as the new season unfolds, we may still have cold days or a sudden storm that cause us to pull all the cold-weather gear back out. In the same way, eventually a new life after the death of your husband will begin to emerge. Triggers and holidays may still draw you back into the pain you thought was healing. It is healing. The triggers and special days will get easier to manage over time as you grow and get more comfortable with your new life. The impact will soften and the return to more even ground will happen more smoothly. Spring always comes.

May you begin to see signs all around you of new blooms, new life and renewed hope. May you be able to rest in God’s unfailing grace and peace when words, sounds, smells or memories send you careening into the pain of loss.

Thank You Father for Your persistent love and pursuit of us especially when we are hurting and feeling lost. Please renew us and equip us to courageously embrace Your guidance and care as we continue this journey through healing. Thank You for the gift of Springtime and its reminder of fresh starts and new life. May we learn and heed the lessons of every season we encounter. Help us live in harmony with You and Your creation as You continue to orchestrate the music of our song. We give You all the praise, honor and glory forever.

Amen.

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Save the dates! Join us for the 2024 Widows of Hope 5K, taking place May 10-12! This annual initiative encourages activity while raising awareness for the 245 million widowed women worldwide and honoring loved ones. Additionally, May 3rd, National Widows Day, when we’ll reopen applications for our Restoring Hope and Peace Grant. Learn more here: https://hopeforwidows.org/grant/ and continue to lookout on all our social media platforms for updates. Please let us know if you have any questions. Have a great week! Thank you.

 

 

About 

Teri’s dance with grief actually began over five years before she watched her beloved husband of almost 37 years take his last breath and enter Heaven’s door on October 6, 2019. A terminal degenerative neurological disease steadily and increasingly attacked nearly every major system of his body and transformed him from a vibrant, brilliant, strong and caring man to a bedfast invalid at the end. She was devoted to caring for him and doing her best to make the most of every minute they had left, to love him and pray for a miracle.

She thought she knew what her future held, but she had no idea. Losing him was the first time she experienced a close and personal loss. He was the love of her life. The onslaught of the pandemic with its reign of fear-mongering, forced isolation and separation entering the scene and disrupting or destroying whatever sense of “normal” that remained, just added insult to injury.

Her faith in God is the sustaining force keeping her fighting spirit to find and share hope in a bright future. Her heart’s desire is to walk beside her fellow widows toward a path of promise and healing. She wants to offer encouragement and hope so others can find the strength to take that next breath or next step. She recently started her own blog, https://widowwhispers.blogspot.com/, to share with other widows not only the struggles and hardships of widowhood, but the triumphs. Her hope is found in leaning on the Lord Jesus to enjoy a God inspired future anchored in expectation He will bring us to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

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Teri Miner

Teri’s dance with grief actually began over five years before she watched her beloved husband of almost 37 years take his last breath and enter Heaven’s door on October 6, 2019. A terminal degenerative neurological disease steadily and increasingly attacked nearly every major system of his body and transformed him from a vibrant, brilliant, strong and caring man to a bedfast invalid at the end. She was devoted to caring for him and doing her best to make the most of every minute they had left, to love him and pray for a miracle. She thought she knew what her future held, but she had no idea. Losing him was the first time she experienced a close and personal loss. He was the love of her life. The onslaught of the pandemic with its reign of fear-mongering, forced isolation and separation entering the scene and disrupting or destroying whatever sense of “normal” that remained, just added insult to injury. Her faith in God is the sustaining force keeping her fighting spirit to find and share hope in a bright future. Her heart’s desire is to walk beside her fellow widows toward a path of promise and healing. She wants to offer encouragement and hope so others can find the strength to take that next breath or next step. She recently started her own blog, https://widowwhispers.blogspot.com/, to share with other widows not only the struggles and hardships of widowhood, but the triumphs. Her hope is found in leaning on the Lord Jesus to enjoy a God inspired future anchored in expectation He will bring us to a fulfilling and meaningful life.

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