A Change of Perspective

How it started….

Widow

Oh, how that word felt like it crushed every bone in my body

My world crumbled as this new title was unwillingly forced upon me

I wasn’t prepared (no one is)

For widowhood or the role of being a “single” parent

Half of me was suddenly gone, along with my/our life’s goals, plans, dreams, family structure, and routines

Along with what felt like my whole identity vanished in an instant

Who Am I Now?

I would wrestle with this question for over three years. Let me share with you what was revealed to me in hopes that it may help one of my fellow sisters.

Almost immediately after my husband’s passing, the overwhelming weight of questions and doubts hit me like a ton of bricks.

Searching for Answers

What would my future even look like without him? The kids’ future?

How can I help my children heal when I have this giant open wound?

How do I move forward with the weight of this tremendous pain?

What do I do with all of this love that now has no place to go?

What purpose do I now hold?

There has to be more to my remaining days than mere survival. Right?!?

I am not going to lie, even after three years, I still get that twinge in my stomach when I tell someone I’m a widow.

That feeling of loss hits deeply and probably always will, but thankfully, it no longer paralyzes me.

A Different Perspective

I have a whole new way of looking at myself,  my situation, and my future.

The word “widow” isn’t as consuming as it once was, nor does it completely define who I am.

To me, being a widow now means that:

I loved and was loved unconditionally 

We honored & fulfilled our marriage covenant

Bryan loved me forever, as he promised

I still & always will carry that love with me and pour it into everything I continue to do

My story isn’t over

My testimony is still being written

I walked through fire and survived 

I have much compassion, love, & care for my fellow widowed sisters (& my widower brothers)

I am here to love, bless, and pour into others

I draw from the strength of the Lord, as I can not do this alone

The Lord is my source and my defender

He will send helpers when we are in need & I am to accept that help with gratitude

He will open doors no man can close and close doors that may cause me harm

I am strong through Him & I can do all things. (Even home repairs seem less daunting)

I still have purpose, and Father God has something beautiful for me

There is still joy to be had (I have struggled with this one the most)

I am blessed to be a blessing

Jesus will comfort me when I cry out to Him

That I am HIS daughter 

I need to allow Father God to care for and love me (and not push Him away, as I did for two years following my husband’s passing)

The Beauty of a Widow

I now view the widows in the Bible in a different light and realize how much Father God loved them.

They were not fragile, poor, or defenseless women whose lives were over when they lost their husbands. 

They were intercessors, givers, daughters of God in whom he deeply cared for.

Their strong faith, selfless service, fervent prayer, devotion, and perseverance helped advance God’s kingdom! GLORY 🔥🙌

Father God cared for them & their children. He protected, provided, and defended them. He gave them new purpose, grace, and beautiful strength.

If he did it then, He is doing it now and will do it in the future!

Jesus wants us to come closer to Him. He is waiting for us to drop every burden at the foot of the cross. And give Him full access to every area of our lives so we do not have to carry it all on our own. 

How HE Views Us

It is important to see how Father God views us and His deep love for us. This has been a life-changer for me! 

Most importantly, and before anything else, we are His Daughters, that is where our true identity is!

1 John 3:1 NIV See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

Romans 8:14 NLT For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.

Psalms 68:5 NLT Father to the fatherless, defender of widows— this is God, whose dwelling is holy.

Psalms 146:9 NIV The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow.

Galatians 4:7 NIV So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Mark 5:34 NIV He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.

And there are many verses about God’s love for us as widows, His children, and for us as His daughters.

Fellow sisters, Father God longs for you to run into His arms. He cares for you and loves you.

                 You are His daughter!

Therefore Now

My identity is not defined by my loss, but by my relationship with Father God.

I can rest in this and find peace, knowing that my primary identity is being chosen, loved unconditionally, valued, and cared for by my Abba.

                 I am HIS daughter!

About Kimberly Grace

Kim is a child of God, Mom to three adult sons and two teens. In October 2022, she unwillingly became a widow of an incredible man that died suddenly in a boating accident.

She is a wahm who loves painting rescued furniture, homeschooling her teens, spending time in nature, spending time with the Lord, taking ministry classes, and going thrifting with her kids every chance she gets!

Kim invites you to follow along as she walks this uncharted path. Sharing some of the challenges she's faced in her faith, identity, and single parenthood while beginning to find hope, joy and a new purpose.

Kim's goal is to offer support, love, and hope to fellow widows because she believes we are here to lift up one and wants to make sure no one walks this path alone.