Navigating Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is coming. In the view of those whose lives have not been acquainted with a loss of this magnitude and the stabbing pain of grief that follows, perhaps to them mother’s day is a day that a widow with children should be able to enjoy in most of the same ways that she always did. After all, she is still a mother, she still has a child or children and she still has a day to enjoy that honors her role as mother. In my experience, Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday to face without my beloved. Maybe it is the painful reminder that I am living without the man who loved me and made me a mother. Or perhaps it is the emptiness of raising sons without their father to teach them how to do right and how to show honor, respect, and appreciation for their mother.
After many years of dreaming of a beautiful life of love and a wonderful man to build a life with, God saw fit to bring me a precious gentleman filled with integrity, humor, compassion and a very long list of wonderful qualities. He was my world and my very best friend, and our love story was the happily ever after we both had waited for and prayed for. It was out of the abundance of love and joy within that special marriage we shared that led to the honor of being entrusted with our two little baby boys. I have beautiful memories of the excitement we shared during two pregnancies and the wonder and awe of two natural labors and deliveries that resulted in two beautiful miracles in our arms that we sang to, prayed over, and welcomed into our family. Welcomed into our love. As we learned how to be parents, we faced each challenge as a unified team. Devotion to each other and to the best interest of our children as unto God was our mission and the focus of our time and energy. The privilege of being our own little family of four meant everything to us.
The reality is that every part of my role as mother is and was wrapped up in the love that I shared with my husband. So it makes perfect sense that every part of this special day is gripped by my grief.
I have learned to navigate the day by creating special activities and traditions to enjoy with my babies like buying flowers together at the local greenhouse and planting them together. It also helps to focus on making the day extra special for my Mom. Time with her is a precious gift. Other special loved ones are deserving of honor on this day and serve as another way to focus on the “haves” in my life instead of the “have nots.”
How do you fellow widow mamas get through Mother’s Day ?
In Hope & Prayers,
From This Widow Mama
Mark your calendars! Hope For Widows Foundation’s annual virtual Widows of Hope 5K event has returned on Friday, May 10 through Sunday, May 12, 2023. Anyone can join! Whether you are a widow, widower, or a friend/family member showing support or walking in the loss of another family member, everyone is welcome to participate. The proceeds will directly support widows through the annual financial Restoring Hope and Peace Grants, Sunshine Boxes program, and Bring Hope Holiday Assistance Program. Do you have or know a business that would like to sponsor? That’s an option too! To register and frequently asked questions- please go here: https://secure.getmeregistered.com/get_information.php?event_id=139671
About Dorothy Swanson
Dorothy lost her beloved husband Oct 2021 to a very unexpected bacterial pneumonia that quickly became septic shock. Her other half and best friend was born with a serious congenital heart defect. Because of that, she had always feared the possibility of being a widow, but she thought it would be more likely due to his heart, and more likely when her husband was in his 50s after the children were grown. Instead, he graduated to heaven just one week before turning 34. Dorothy was 36 with young sons ages 5 and 16 months who adored their Daddy. In less than 48 hours, the life Dorothy and her beloved husband so carefully built together shattered. They were blessed to share just over 8 wonderful, joyous and fun years of marriage. While her heart is so thankful to God for having had their journey together, she has struggled since his death with feeling hurt and let down by God. She has felt so devastated that their love story was short and ended so abruptly. Join her as she shares her unfolding journey of grasping to faith in Christ as she journeys through love, loss, single parenthood, honoring her husband's legacy and guiding her sons through their grief and life without Daddy.
I feel the same about Mother’s Day, so much is wrapped up in all the ways my husband would go out of his way to honor me, flowers, balloons, he always made it special. He would always make a big deal with my son and daughter to show them how important the day is. I’m blessed to be a mother, and I’m desperately missing my husband who made me a mom. Thank you for sharing.
I always enjoy reading your comments. I so appreciate you taking the time to share your story and thoughts. It means a lot!